Hey 1967,
I know it's not what your after I didn't mean to be flippant.
My ex cheated on me about 6 months ago and I turn into a blubbering mess all the time.
I still have to live in the same house because of Covid and it drives me crackers.
I have 3 kids whom I'm now faced with not seeing all the time, which is deeply crushing.
I guess my point is, your not alone in these feelings and jokes sometimes don't help. My friends told jokes at work today on Messenger and I told them I wouldn't talk to them for the rest of the day. Even now I know that was dumb they didn't do anything wrong. That's my fault because I can feel myself cutting people out of my life because I want to brood in my unhappiness to make it feel more real, it's almost like if I don't brood, it makes it easier for her to move on, so I've gotta try and make her feel guilty for what she's done.
And as I write this I realise that is just pushing her away further, and I'm even unhappier and more alone.
Being alone sucks and brooding over what is lost isn't helping me, I hope you can see what I'm saying here.
I think 1967 you need as many other people in your life as possible... they're not always going to offer the salvation you desire but over time other people will help you find yourself.
It's slowly becoming clear to me that I need to find my identity outside of my relationship and find me, there must be a fun interesting version of me in there somewhere. I'm an Engineer so I'm not sure, but jokes aside, 1967 ur an important person and I'm sure you have a lot to contribute, you need to realise that and it'll need to come from you.
Go out and volunteer, the RSPCA are always looking for help and you get to hang with animals the whole time you are there. Let's face it animals are better than humans 🙂
I hope this message finds you in good spirits 1967... and best of luck.
