What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx

I saw in the Cafe you've been feeling low.

I've read back here a few posts, so I can see things are really stressful with your d and your gf too.

Doesn't usually make for peaceful sleep but stress can work in the opposite ways SOME times!

I'm really glad you've gotten a great night's sleep.

I prep for sleep around 2h before bed time... then CATCH that opportunity...

I turn most lights off, so there's only dim lights.
I have a warm bath and if I'm particularly restless I put a few drops of lavender oil or scrunch the flowers in my hands. It's supposed to induce sleep.

During the Courts I had the imagery thing... the white clouds spinning and sucking every thought out of my head.

I really hope your d can get through this rough time she's having.
It's really scary as a parent. I totally get that. I was even told by 2 psych that I was experiencing "secondary trauma" because of what my youngest d had gone through and was going through.

BUT the repeated advice for me, to help me cope, was self-care.
Yep I thought it was baloney too... and nowhere NEAR enough... but the stronger WE are then the more ballast we can bring to the situation for others.

Hence beginning the self-care thread.
It's really working!
For me AND for my youngest daughter and other children now too.

I used to believe that relationships "happened for 'a' reason"... now not so much at all lol.
I'm not sure what I believe about all that stuff.

What I've HAD to do is pull out of the r/ship whatever it is I could LEARN from it.
It's the only way I've been able to cope with break ups of marriages.

Clearly I'm a slow learner lol OR I just had a real lot to learn!

My now fiancee's name glowed on a forum of around 40,000 people.
No one else's did.
So I read his post and was gobsmacked. I could have written it myself (but with Australian spelling lol)... then I read more and more.

It was months before I responded to ANY of his posts in the forum, I was 100% sure he'd notice me because we are SO ALIKE, so I held back for a long time.
And he did notice me.

When we met, he was exactly like I had imagined him. Even the way he walked, the shape of his head. But his incredible kindness and patience and many other features have lasted the test of time. He's really a remarkable man and I'm so lucky he chose me too. Lol.

Thinking of you rx and your girls.

EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Thanks for that em , very kind of you.

Yeah we try to look after ourselves at times like these , my gf never lets me forget it either may angels bless her.

The most important thing is that you have each other now isn't it, that's all that matters if even from afar.

l'll be back at a better time. rx

[ecomama]

Take care my friend.

EM

[Guest_1643]

hey Rx

sounds so hard with ur daughter, good on u for putting her first

hope uve been able to connect easier with gf over the phone and keep some nice convo goig over this time

sending highest hopes for great news for u all

[Guest_1584]

Thanks that em , take care.

Hey sleepy , yeah we have no problem staying in touch/ Phones skype whetever so many these days but their incredible aren't they , like the person's right beside ya, amazing really.

Yep afraid so the worst but we do our best. Won't be moving now for at least another 12mths so that's relief all round too .

Thanks a million anyway , hope your ok and things are looking good.

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx ,

Hope you're doing ok and thst your daughter is ok. So glad you can connect with your gf.

We're here whenever you need.

Cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Thx a lot cm , always appreciated.

rx

[Guest_1643]

Hey Rx i was surprised u were moving - ur place sounded really cool! Are u staying put

technology is amazing and i'm really happy for u and gf

thanks for the well wishes

I'm not doing the best but I''m not doing the worst. Here we are lol

[Guest_1584]

Hey sleepy.

Thanks for that yeah , l came here 4yrs ago to stay close to my daughter and hoped l might like it enough to stay later on too but l really just don't fit in around here tbh. She's coming up to 20 and so l was moving this yr but there's a hold up and l'm staying another yr or so. She was going to uni 100k over from here and that's where l was thinking about too so it would've worked out good but she didn't go on with that course either so we're both staying put for awhile now. Which is great bc of the problems now l wanna stay close too sooooo. Yeah the house and spot are really cool but the town itself yaknow , l just don't fit in here.

But ahh , shyt , sorry to hear that sleepy. Are you finished for the yr now or ? Just thinking because if so it's good to just say then to hell with it and call it a day for some holidays , forget it fir awhile new yr next , sort it out then. Works for me. Can you swing that or , if so try that one.

rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx

I wish more dad were like you.

Just popping in to your thread to say I think you're an awesome dad.

EMxxxx