Want to mend but don't know where to start
Hi my first post so hope I put this is under the right topic. For 5 years now I've suffered depression and within the last year suffered anxiety on top of that. Having both has been an absolute roller coaster turned my world upside down. I can't focus, can't calm myself, overthink to the max,have no patience and am always moody, overanalyse everything and think the worst of everything and cry at the drop of a hat. I've had panic attacks and feel like a weight is constantly on my chest and feel nervous and sad so much of the time.I've had enough of it being this bad and I don't know where to start to get myself out of it I'm overwhelmed because I don't know where to start or how to keep at it and stick to it. Sticking to it is my biggest struggle before I just think horrible things of my self like telling myself to just give up your never going to get out of it your hopeless,your stupid you can't do this, you think you can but you cant. All horrible things that just take me back to square one. I have a great family and partner.
My partner and I have been together for 4 years he is so great about the way I am and has never done anything to hurt me with what I worry about. I still struggle with thoughts that I had when we first started dating as in trusting him fully. I am terrified of being hurt and don't open up fully because of this to him. I think things up in my head of things I worry about him doing but never really would he do that and has reassured me over and over but I can't just seem to just realise and believe that. It's not even him it's my thinking pattern of always thinking the worst and getting worked up over something I thought up. I struggle to just get over the line and just trust him fully and I know my depression/anxiety is holding this back. i know I would be just so much happier and could start to mend if I knew where to start or how to start breaking this negative patten of thinking and start trusting and not thinking the worst of everything and like everything is going wrong. I want to be able to deal with things better. I feel I just can't break my negative thinking pattern.
I just don't know how to or where to start. What have you done that has helped you break this ? Thankyou
Welcome to The Beyond Blue Community
Depression/anxiety can throw a spanner in the works where relationships are concerned. I do feel for you as I have the same illness and it makes the road a hard one to drive on for sure.
You are self aware, intelligent and want to heal and find some balance in your life where your thinking is concerned. I understand. If I may ask you......do you have a GP? A good GP/Therapist can provide you with a platform on which you can heal and find the clarity/peace you are looking for.
Depression is the same as a physical illness...no different and getting help on a regular basis will help you heal.
You are very lucky to have a partner that is supportive of how you feel...always a huge bonus. Just to make it easier for him to understand if you scroll down the page you will find a header called 'Supporting Someone'.
Under this header you will find 'Supporting Someone with Depression/Anxiety' Print it out and gently give it him so he can see what you are going through and what he can do to help. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so.
I do hope you can find some peace soon. Please do post back. It would be great to hear from you 🙂
My Kind Thoughts