Unhealthy Family Situation

[anon216]

My family relationships with my household (brother and mum) are really unhealthy. Both of them work and get home late and so I'm left alone for the majority of time at home. I take care of a lot of the household responsibilities but this usually goes unappreciated. After my family is home, our nights can mostly consisting of arguing or avoiding one another (particularly my brother). My mum has some alcohol issues which greatly affect my brother and I's relationships with her. I have a closer relationship with her, but it is somewhat strained and I feel very alone. My brother is extremely verbally abusive, and has also been physically abusive as well. I constantly feel put down and upset and find that I cannot communicate with him without an argument starting. He is aware that what he is saying/doing is wrong, but has told me multiple times that he will not apologise and that he just genuinely doesn't care how I am affected by it. As much as he is my brother and I should believe that he does actually care about me, I honestly don't think that he does. I find that I am scared of him being upset and hurting me mentally or physically. Everything has come to a point where I feel constantly stressed, nervous and scared, even when I am away from my brother.

I feel like there is no way out of my situation. I have talked to some close friends and partner about my problem, but I am scared of upsetting them or making them worried. I have also asked my mum to help me get an appointment to see a psychologist who I can talk to these things about but nothing has progressed. I am only 16, so not exactly sure what to do. If there is any information on how I might be able to initiate this myself, it would be really appreciated.

[Sophie_M]

Hi anon216, 

We're so glad that you have reached out to us today, we can only imagine how much energy and courage it took to do this. 

Please know that there is no excuse for anyone making you uncomfortable or laying a single hand on you under any circumstance. We are so sorry that you have found yourself in this position and want you to know that there is so much support available to you, including here in our safe and supportive online community. 

We would strongly recommend you contact the service at 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) https://www.1800respect.org.au/ for further assistance. 

Another great service that can help you is Kids Helpline, they're available here https://kidshelpline.com.au/ or by calling 1800 55 1800. 

Keep reaching out to us here and letting us know that you're okay, we've also asked our Support Service to contact you via your email. They're here to help you through and so are we. 

[anon216]

Hi,

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm okay.

I am going to keep trying to make appointments to see someone, because I know it's not okay and I don't deserve it.

Do you know if there is anywhere where I can find the costs of seeing a psychologist or therapist, and how medicare might cover it?

[Sophie_M]

Thanks for checking back in anon216.

Our Support Service can assist you with finding supports and professionals in your area that can best suit your needs. We’d suggest giving them a ring (1300 22 4636 ) or you can also get in touch with them through our website for email and Webchat services (available from 3pm-12am AEST). www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport .
 
We also have a find a professional tool on our website where you can search for psychologists and therapists located near you: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

Check back in when you feel up to it, we’d love to hear about how you’re going.
 

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey anon216,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. Like Sophie, I really applaud you for being here and I'm sorry that you're stuck in this situation.

I am glad though that you are willing to get some help, and that you know that this isn't okay and you don't deserve it. That alone is so important because stuff like that can often totally knock our self-esteem around.

So typically, to see a psychologist you'd go to the GP and they'd give you what's called a Mental Health Care Plan - basically a document that allows for 10 sessions per year that's funded by medicare. How much the gap is though is up to the psychologist. So you can try and find psychologists that bulk bill (by filtering there or asking your GP).

The other option though which is probably the better way to go is Headspace, which are free for people aged 12-25. They are totally used to seeing young people and also seeing people in your situation too. You can have a look at their website here - www.headspace.org.au

I also messaged Sophie to change the link as it was an error one, and this is the one I think she meant to post - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

Hope this helps and good luck,