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Twice the loss

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my anxiety that drove my partner away. I don't even blame him. But I'm just so sick of being alone. I literally feel sick from loneliness.
20 Replies 20

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Katy, I'm devastated by what has happened to you, and my heart goes out to you for these tragic losses.

If you get help starting off with your doctor, in being able to learn how to control this anxiety then you'll be able to find some friends, easier said than done, because it doesn't happen with the click of a finger it requires help from a counsellor.

SANDS can be contacted on this number 1300 072 637 or visit them o https://www.sands.org.au/  for the unfortunate loss of your baby, I am truly so sorry that this happened.

-Pregnancy Birth and Baby 1800 882 436 or you can ring them for advice and emotional support anytime 7 days a week

-Bears of Hope 1300 11 HOPE provides grief support and care for families who experience the loss of their baby.

If you can contact all or any of these places they maybe able to tie a few of your concerns altogether, which we really hope can happen.

If you can please get back to us.

Take care.

Geoff.

Aaronsis
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Katy

Welcome to the forum and I am so desperately sorry for the loss of your baby, I have no idea how painful that is and I am so very sorry this has happened to you.

Geoff has given you some excellent contacts to start to reach out and share your experience with and get some support from people who have also been through the loss of a baby.

To have the extra layer on top of having your partner leave to is so very hard and I think that a trip to your GP to chat through this and how you are feeling will be a really good start. They are professionals and can give you some solid tools to help you through this time.

It is so great that you have reached out here and I hope you come back and let us know how you are getting along.

Hugs to you Katy

AS

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Thankyou both. I've been to the GP today and had a big cry to her. She has validated my feelings, as have you, and that's much appreciated. She has also given me something to help me sleep, and told me to download a meditation app. It's a start. Thanks for the support group info. It's nice to know there is somewhere I can go where people will understand. It's been hard not having anyone to share with. Thanks again.

Hi Katy

That is fantastic news I am so very pleased to hear that you have done that for yourself and that you are on the road to getting well and making a happy you, that is fantastic.

We are here anytime you would like to chat and I hope you do keep coming back to let us know how you are going, or just to say hi.

Big hugs to you Katy and thank you for letting us know this great news.

AS

Hello Katy, as AS has said please contact whenever you want to talk to somebody, our thoughts are with you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I posted recently as I suffered a pregnancy loss, but my partner also left a week later. I just found out he started seeing someone right away and is still seeing them. It makes me feel like I meant nothing, and the baby meant nothing. I was finding it hard already to keep myself together, and now this. Please someone tell me something that will make sense of it. Tell me how I just be ok with it all. I'm really feeling overwhelmed

Hello Katy, it's always a terrible shock to find out that someone has left, forgotten about what you have been through and the devastation left behind is awful and perhaps this new relationship could have already been happening during your pregnancy.

Under all of what you have been through, which I'm deeply sorry for, have a think about, is it better that he has gone now, rather than later when you are trying to cope with 2 or 3 children, and I apologise for saying this,

Can I ask you what you would do if he tries to get back with you?

Take care.

Geoff.

At my age and single there won't be kids 😞 I'm not interested in getting back with him. Just struggling to understand. But I guess understanding isn't the point. I just need to stay safe until I have the motivation to try getting mentally well. Thanks for the reply.

Hey Katy

I am so sorry to hear how sad you are and this is really such a horrible experience to have to go through. It will take time to get well and to keep yourself safe during this time is a very very good idea. I am wondering if you have downloaded the app from Beyond Blue? It is the Beyond Now - Suicide Safety app:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning

We are here to support you through this time Katy, you have so much hurt and I hope you feel supported and cared for here.

I am glad to hear that you are trying to move on from the relationship and that you don't have the desire to go back. I think some time for you and some healing for you would be wonderful at this time. You mentioned you felt better after visiting your GP and had a big cry and a chat, do you think that it would be helpful to make another appointment just to follow up and keep safe?

Huge hugs to you and I hope you can find something to make you smile really soon.

Hugs

AS