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Community Member

I am having trouble with my husband.

He believed my depression was caused by my inplanon so had it taken out. He doesn't think I'm depressed anymore and forced me to make an appointment with my GP to have my meds reduced as he doesn't believe in them.

​All this is because we don't have sex anymore. I have no interest I or desire to and we fight about it all the time. The last big fight, he ended up calling us '2 separate people who live togther'.

We have 2 kids. I don't know whether to stay for the kids or to leave

3 Replies 3

Community Member

This is an extremely common problem. What your husband needs to understand is that you don't can't just turn on attraction and therefore automatically want to have sex with him (ie: you don't have a choice about this). Now without knowing the full story it's impossible to say much. From his point of view he's probably thinking that birth control and anti-depressants have nerfed your sex drive, which is true to a degree but I highly doubt that's the core issue (which is likely your loss of attraction to him). He's just looking at the obvious magical solution. He needs to re-establish attraction.

In the first instance he needs to understand that bringing it up all the time is driving a wedge further into the marriage. Fights are obviously solving nothing and making things worse.

Apart from taking sex of the table at this point in time, what could he be doing to turn things around in your mind?

I say this a lot here, but I found a lot of useful information in author, relationship coach and vlogger Athol Kay. Somehow your husband needs to get onto this guy. He's doing a lot of Youtube stuff these days. You can even ask him questions.

Whatever way you play it, your husband needs to understand how serious this is. But if you think you can, you need to give him a chance. He just needs to see the light (obvious caveat here is that he is non-abusive etc etc)

Thanks Apollo Black.

​I will look into Athol Kay 🙂

My husband can be emotionally abusive at times. I have suggested counselling but he doesn't want that.

Hi Little Cherubs

I have one child and am unhappy in my relationships too. Not a lot of sex, I just don't have the time energy or interest! It's been a problem for a long time and I guess it stems from many issues but my husband makes no effort to assist or talk about it, just ignores the issue and gets upset when I don't feel like it.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you