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Thoughts on this disorder

Pheenstar
Community Member

Hello, kinda looking for a comment and also putting it out there a little my situation

Im neil , father of 2 and have a bit of a situation and I feel am taking care of it, the most responsible way I can , but your thoughts.

Partner is a undiagnosed malignant narcissist with our kids in her care, Total ban on seeing them, and its day 70 now... and day 110 with very mimimal contact at the start... Over the next day or two I am going to expose her who she really is, and expect the right result... Will be in the kindest most honest way possible, with only evidential based stuff, but even that will be very offencive to someone mind state that knows her... mY eldest is nearly 5 and I am and had the feeling, he was at best only able to last about 6 months, before the risk he is broken or mentally scarred was to great... its a very rare and ridiculous situation.. Also , being 5 is still young to be hurt mentally, but is is the kind of boy that freezes with abuse, not a screamer type kid, also, his intelligence is really high and compassionate... I'm will be putting pressure on loads of different organisations, and mental health , to also start to think about the situation as a matter of urgency .. but I'm happy to discuss anything or here of any other avenues, that can work, nothing standard, that all been well and truely examined.... Its called exposure, and I can see it working if done right, but concern is the damage possibly caused on the way out, that for me is totally un necessary

2 Replies 2

Quercus
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Pheenstar,

This 'exposure' plan of yours kind of worries me. Have you discussed the details of it with a psychiatrist? You mention your partner is undiagnosed. Would an outright attack really be helping anyone (the kids especially?). Is there a less aggressive method you could use?

I know you said kindest way possible but what you're talking about doesn't sound kind. It sounds threatening. It is definately not right that you don't get to see your kids but this method sounds like it could quite easily backfire on you if she feels you have threatened her and goes to the police.

Your kids need their Dad. And fighting between parents is very hard on young kids too.

Could you please consider taking a step back and ask for a professional opinion before doing anything. Ask about the appropriate channels to get to see your children.

I hope you are alright and don't feel I'm judging you. I know I don't have the full story but going by what you wrote this plan frightens me.

Please take care of yourself.

Nat

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Pheenstar, thanks for posting your comment.
Mental illness will affect a 5 year old, at that age they still know what actually happens and will pick up the vibes, and even a child much younger will also know what's going on as I have two little grand daughters aged 5 and 3 and they definitely know at their age how a parent is feeling and what is said to them.
Can I ask how your partner was given the kids in the first place and visiting rights weren't set up. Geoff.