To cut a long story short, I was dating a guy for four months before he told me he wasn't well. He never used the word depression, he said anxiety and explained he was difficult to date. We spent a good three hours talking about this & crying at my apartment about his situation and that it was making us both upset. He mainly said he needed space, and that I deserved to know what he was going through because he didn't want to be selfish and only see me when he was feeling good. We decided not to end it and I gave him space. We talked on and off over text for the next four weeks when we saw each other again.
When we met up it was great, we had laughs. He said he had missed me. We went back to mine to talk somewhere more quiet and he got really upset when he explained his family situation that was causing him a lot of upset. He was visibly upset and told me he just feels sad all the time and that is not usually him. He mentioned he hadn't really spoken about it with anyone else. He then asked how I was, I told him he really hurt me and asked why he pushed me away. He said he thought he was protecting me, but he didn't know why he did it. He never wanted to hurt me. I asked why he didn't just break up with me, and he said the words couldn't come out of his mouth.
I never saw him again after that night, and the past two months have driven me insane. We talked everyday but he just couldn't see me again. I gave him plenty of outs in case he just didn't want to date me - to tell me to go, but he would say I don't want you to go, but then he didn't want me to stay if it hurt me. I finally was able to say lets not talk until you are better, and he got in contact three days later and started the cycle over again. He told me he was a mess and needed time, yet I kept pushing for clarity because I was scared I was being let on. I even asked him this and he said no.
He went silent on me when I asked should I move on. I was very upset and let him know. Three weeks later he sent me a large msg, saying he couldn't handle the emotional situation which is why he ignored my messages. He apologized profusely, saying he was fighting depression and that I deserve to be treated better. He said he is an emotional coward which is why he was so difficult. He said it didn't mean he never cared, he did and he still does.
I don't know what to do. Do I try again or leave it? He was right, I didn't deserve to be treated like that, but I don't understand the way his mind is working.
