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She stopped loving me

Community Member

Last Thursday she dropped the bomb: ‘I don’t love you any more, I have no feelings for you”
and it’s not you, it’s me! You are amazing, I cannot find fault in you, but I just stopped loving you”. I know that after 10 years of marriage and three children, the spark has gone, but I do still love her and I don’t want to lose her. She was adamant that we should go our own ways, and that there is nothing I can do to make her love me again. She has reassured me that there is no one else in her life. So, I started doing research and I know that even the odds are against us, I will not give up. We are working in China, moved here from QLD 3 months ago and we work together, right next to each other. The move was hectic and the stress enormous, but I Thought we were happy, I was wrong. She said yesterday that she’s been feeling this way for about a year now. We stop sleeping in the same room. Our conversation was mainly about having a trial separation, which she believes it’s the last thing she can try. I’ve read various articles about trial separation, lots of pros and cons. We never had a fight or major argument, we are very efficient and loving parents. She has agreed to see a marriage counsellor next week and she is seeing a clinical psychologist this Friday. We are in open and honest communication now and she asked me not to do cheese things like I used to years ago, ie. Send her flowers or shower her with gifts and chocolates, because it’s only going to push her away further from me. She has agreed to remove her IUD she had implanted 8 months ago, as I believe our love life deteriorated from then on, but she is adamant it’s not the case. So is up to her to remove it or not. She keeps blaming herself, she says that any women would jump at the opportunity to be with a man like me, but she just wants to be parents and friends. I ll stay positive, its bloody hard when you are so far away from home though, and she refuses to talk or tell anyone in the family, as she knows they’ll give her hell and I respect that. I just want to cry, but have no one to talk to. What do I do?
1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi and welcome

Its a tough time no doubt.

The number of members that post here with comments that reflect their partners lack if desire to get help, be friends or keep their communicstion together for the kids is alarming. Your wife is at least being honest.

In such diyuations your relationship needs some time imo. Time to allow her to spread her wings a little. There is a chance she will realuse that being "in love" isnt so common but to love someone like you is enough. Like a mid life crisis.

Id also recommend you ring relationships Australia for an appointment, with her or without her

Best of luck.

Tony WK