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Struggling with marriage separation

Suz863
Community Member

Hi guys,

my husband and I split August last year and moved out into seperate houses March this year. We have been together 16 years and the split has made me realise how much I love him and our family. My daughter is really struggling with the transition too. My husband has a new girlfriend and told me he doesn’t want to get back together so I guess I’m here for support, I feel sad all the time which is unusual for me and I don’t know how to move past it.

thanks guys 😊

1 Reply 1

Emmen
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Suz86,

Welcome to the forums.

I'm so sorry for the situation you're now in. Splitting up after 16 years together leaves its emotional scars and throws your life into disarray, and it's not something you get over with in a few months. After those 16 years, you're not expected to have recovered and moved on just 10 months later, as if nothing happened. In those 16 years, you've built routines with each other, you've raised a daughter together and established a life together. It'll take time to rebuild these routines without him. So please go easy on yourself.

You can't control the way you feel, but you can take actions to get your life into a new normal for yourself and your daughter. Perhaps you could try to establish new routines that give you both something to look forward to with each other? Something as small as weekly movie nights could form a part of your new life and also help you bond with your daughter and give you both something positive in this situation.

Your husband not wanting to get back together is not your fault, and in the event you feel like blaming yourself, remember that he has a choice and he has made it. You have tried to ask him about getting back together and in doing that, you've done what you can. You can't force someone to behave in a certain way. What is under your control is your future with your daughter.

A huge hug to you, Suz86. I'm glad you've come to this forum for help, and I hope you and your daughter recover from this.

Take care,
M