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Struggling to cope with going it alone

Community Member

I’m 23, I have two kids, 3 and almost 2. I have been separated about ten months, seeking divorce. I am studying full time and my kids attend daycare. My ex contributes $20 a fornihbt financially and he’s supposed to see his kids twice a week but he cancels so often it’s more like once a fortnight.

Im having feelings of being utterly overwhelmed and out of my depth. My ex was never a father in reality but my aloneness is only dawning on me now. I hold up a brace face and soldier on but every few weeks I have some sort of break down or crying fit.

today I had a lot of stuff to do and I took my kids to daycare. Apparently the centre has a policy that if a kid has a fever they can't come to the centre for 24 hours. My daughter ran a mild fever yesterday afternoon (she's fine today). When she got there this morning (I already dropped her off and she was playing with her friends) they cane in and told me that sorry 'jose', as she called her has to go home immediately. She didn't bother to tell me this yesterday.so I had already brought her in. She was bawling and screaming and it took me hours to get her to settle down. Let’s just say I didn’t get my work done. The previous week my son was sick all week (different virus)and couldn’t attend all week. I also pay for the absent days

I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m feeling a bit at my wits end. One or both kids are sick every second week. I also struggle with my weight and I work very hard to get it under control but sometimes I’m overly emotional and I just eat and eat. On top of that I try to go to the gym literally every day but something happens almost every time which prevents me from going

i have tried to get understanding from family but the general consensus is ‘that’s just life’ and my dad even told me ‘my life is much harder than yours’

Everyone says I’m ‘too sensitive’

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Drixiepixie

Welcome to the forum. I am pleased you found your way here to people who all have problems and both give and receive support. Not so great is your story and I can appreciate how frustrated you must feel and completely run down caring for two very young children on your own. A huge load to carry.

I must admit I want to say to your dad did you ever look after your children on your own for more than a couple of hours. Childcare can look so easy from the outside to those who have no experience. Even having a partner is not always foolproof if he does not take his share.

Even though I had no dependent children I found it difficult when my ex and I separated. Like you it took about a year for the full realization of my aloneness to completely dawn on me. It seems a long time and I wonder why I did not feel that way shortly after I started to live alone. But I guess it is what it is. Someone described that year as being a honeymoon time when I was so pleased to be separate that the down side took a while to register. I think this is a good description of what was happening.

After a year I fell into a huge depression, the worst thing I felt that had ever happened to me. Never experienced anything like it. I wonder if a similar thing is happening in your life. Bursting into tears at frequent intervals is a classic symptom. Do you think you can check it out? If you go to the top of the page and look under The Facts you will see on the second line down Depression and Anxiety Checklist K10. There are only ten questions. It's not a formal test or diagnosis, it's merely an indicator. Fill it in online and see what result you get. I will be interested in the result if you want to share this information.

In the meantime can you browse the forum, again looking under The Facts go to the depression page and the anxiety page to get information on these topics.

Hope to hear from you again.


Forgive my nosiness but why does the father only give you $20 pf towards the care of his children. It must make life harder for you. Speaking as another overweight person I can relate to attempts to lose weight while life is so full on. It may help overall if do not continue trying to lose weight while you are feeling like this. I eat for comfort and the more upset I get the more I snack on unsuitable food. So now I am trying to resolve the emotional difficulties instead of trying to diet at the same.