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Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner

Azzdog
Community Member

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense.

I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it.

My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

848 Replies 848

Azzdog
Community Member

Hey Tim,

Generally its me that suggests that we do it. Two of my female friends are very aware of the troubles I've been through and have done what they can to support me. I value their friendship a lot as they are very empathetic people.

When you say role play, what do you mean specifically?

I hope you have a good weekend too. 😊

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

By role play I mean ...

-- acting out the beginning of the date with them?

you are you, and they are the female? And ask for some constructive helpful feedback, and not negative. It is just a thought. You don't have to.

Changing the topic... how is your music and studies going? You will have to remind what you are studying again. And tell me your plans with your qualifications?

Tim

Azzdog
Community Member

Hey Tim,

I guess it’s worth consideration but I wouldn’t want them to feel uncomfortable. I guess I say that because I would probably feel a little uncomfortable haha

I’m studying a Masters of Secondary Teaching and I’ve still got a year and a half to go. I’ll finish in the middle of next year. Music I’m still writing my own material. The band I’m thinking of starting up is on the verge of our first rehearsal.

Azzdog
Community Member
I’m not sure what I’m doing afterwards yet Haha I’m just taking each day as it comes

Azzdog
Community Member
Hey to anyone that is able to respond. I’m some guidance/wisdom/advice over something that keeps popping up.

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Azzdog,

I'm about if you still need to reach out.

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Aaron,

Whats up?

Sorry I have not responded to your previous posts. But what are you looking for guidance regarding?

Tim

Azzdog
Community Member

Sorry for the late reply you two, yesterday was really busy so I needed some time to focus on that.

My problem actually kinda got solved yesterday during exposure therapy. I need to look at things with some of these things in mind:

- I have been told that I am looked up to by some as a leader.
- I have talents and skills that some people don't have the patience for (e.g. guitar).
- I have great capacity for empathy.

I have seen a few things that would have normally really upset in the past but I am holding my own at the moment. Thanks for replying btw.

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Azzdog,

I'm glad you feel like you are coping at present & that your therapy is helpful.

All the best

Paw Prints

I guess the problem that I continue to have is that feeling of hopelessness. It’s still very pervasive and really gets in the way of anything meaningful. I guess that’s what I was referring to before when I needed some advice.