Sadness and grief over daughter being charged

[Cactimad]

I am a newbie but I have read a from that was started by "July" and I hope to gain some support...although my story different my daughter has been charged with an offence and I cannot reveal the details as the matter is still under the court system. But I dread the thought of losing my daughter to prison.

Its the grief and worry of the potential that is driving myself and my husband to despair. We also feel "dropped" by so called friends and family. It seems in our society people feel if there has been a charge made then the person is guilty! Its been so difficult for us all and not to mention our beautiful daughter ...she was abused and controlled by a horrid creep (the perpetrator of the offences) and is now recovering with anxiety, PTSD, OCD. Now this black cloud that is over her and us.

We do have some friends who are absolute rocks but not many (some would say thats all you need and I agree, but it hurts). Ours and our daughter's lives are on standby until all this blows over...she has no friends and no capacity to work...so we are her support and carers.

Any help as to how to get through this... in addition to all the reading and therapy we are getting...would be great to hear.

Our daughter has been charged but we see her as the victim in all this...its a cruel, cruel world the court system!

[Summer Rose]

Hi Cactimad

Welcome to bb and thank you for trusting us with your story.

I'm sorry that your daughter is so unwell and in trouble with the law. I think you are amazing to be supporting and caring for her through this difficult time.

With the support of you and your husband she has a real chance to heal and recover. Take things slow. My daughter has OCD and anxiety and I can tell you from my experience that, with the right treatment life can get better for your daughter but it will take time.

As for the legal matters, seek professional advice from a lawyer and do what you can to help your girl. That's really all you can do, as it's a process beyond your control.

Most importantly, look after yourself. Please make time to do something nice for yourself each day--take a long walk, coffee with a friend, read or write, listen to music, or whatever it is that would bring you some joy.

It's really important because if you fall ill due to worry and stress the consequences for you and your family will likely be significant.

There were some "friends" that took a step back from me, our family and/or my daughter when my daughter fell ill with a mental health condition. I was initially hurt but quickly let it go and this enabled me to concentrate on what I had. Cherish what you have.

I know it might seem hard to believe this right now but the storm will pass. You just hang in there.

Kind thoughts to you