Hi, welcome, sorry you are going through this, its an emotional roller coaster, been there several times.
It's very frustrating when you cannot influence the one you love to run at you as hard as you run at them, its demoralising and hurtful. Being in love means it will take time for you to recover and the grief process is better to allow it to happen than fight it. "Waiting" is kind of fighting it when the other party makes clear they dont want the relationship. I'm sorry but the signs arent good and hope can shatter you.
I waited 7 years for a lady many years ago. After 6 years of a turbulent relationship I gave her 12 months to make up her mind on our future. She had a little boy. The 12 months came along and I asked her if she had given it thought..."I'll think about it".. the same answer I had in all our time together... and I loved her. I walked out the door.
So emotionally we cannot allow our heart to rule our head, we must think logically and move on, as hard as that is. It sounds like he doesnt think you both are a good "fit" and that is his perception.
I suggest you dont contact him again until he contacts you and when he does, let that head rule your heart and not give in to temptation which will light that fire again, you want a solid future, not a fling so he'll need to prove he is the real deal.
Grief is hard to combat, the best way is not to combat it at all, allow it to flow and after a while, start dating is my suggestion, to allow yourself some fun and interesting times. You'll recover better.
Take care and we are here to chat, reply anytime and self care with GP assistance if you feel down.
TonyWK
