Relationship, Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Family Issues

[MaiaRose]

Hi, I'm new here and just created an account. I really wish I found this page before.

I am 22 and have never really been in a relationship before, I have been seeing this guy for around two months, last weekend we were having a really nice relaxing time and then he kissed me in a way that made me really uncomfortable then asked me to be his girlfriend. I regret saying yes and all I feel is dread at the thought of seeing him again and stressed about it all. I live at home still and it isn't the worst situation in the world but my mental health is really affected by being here, I have very little means of independence all of which adds to my anxiety and I feel even more stressed about being in a relationship of any sort.

My self-worth is not the best and I cannot see what my psychologist says she is seeing about me and my mental growth. I got slightly sidetracked, sorry. The guy I'm seeing, we don't really talk about the major stuff and I don't feel confident or comfortable enough to talk to him about all this. My question or hope is that someone might be able to help, give advice or strategies to help me understand or work out what to do, as these thoughts keep circulating and it's making my anxiety flare up really badly.

[Guest_7403]

You could start by asking yourself if your having a rational or irrational thought when thinking about him

Sometimes anxiety and self belief can cause us to act irrationally and we need to take a step back and just breathe for a minute

Also sounds like your not giving him much credit as too his response if you were to open up a little to him, is there a reason he has given you for this? Or just age/maturity etc

[MaiaRose]

Thank you for your response Theborderline. I am probably not giving him as much credit as he deserves, he has suffered anxiety and in his words is at the end of it. I think it is more my perception of how the conversation would go and maybe a little bit of fear in opening up to him.

I'm a big believer of give and take, 'ask a question that you want to be asked back'. We have had conversations where I'll ask questions but receive none in return, it reminds me a lot of the conversations I have with my parents where I'll ask questions to them that show my concern or something and get nothing in return. It confuses me and makes me a little afraid that I will give all of myself and lose what little self I have in return.

I guess my reasoning is irrational. He is older than me and is a little more mature, however, I don't really know much about him or his previous relationships, it is a little daunting opening up to someone I'm not close to or know that much about. I suppose that if I open up a little I would break down those barriers a little.