Hi, welcome
Briefly- I'm 70yo, an adult daughter, new grandad, happily married to my 2nd wife for 15 years.
I think you are actually talking about intrusive thoughts. These thoughts come about for a variety of reasons and are more often than not- negative/tragic/dooms day type worries.
Intrusive thoughts were first identified by my therapist way back in 1988. He asked how my week was and I rattled off all my worries. Worried my boss would drive past my house and see me gardening on a sick day, worried my wife will have another car accident, worried our child not yet born will have a birth defect. Then he asked me- "are any of those things realistic? Did they happen? The answers were "no" although my daughter also didnt have a birth defect weeks later when born.
So he described the problem as intrusive thoughts and they caused worry and worry is not productive, they just give you ulcers. Worry can be a symptom of anxiety which I was then diagnosed with then later depression and much later bipolar and so on. Anyway his treatment included teaching me to divert or distract my thoughts and that works very well. EG if your kids are doing things that makes you think the way you described above, change things (environment, activities) you can start playing games with them or take them for a walk to a park. I walked around the block once and watched bees collecting honey and helped a old neighbour take her groceries inside, by the time I returned home I wasnt thinking about my worries.
Discipline is a hot topic nowadays. I once observed a mother in a doctors surgery. Her toddler kept opening a drawer. The mother didnt want all the lego inside spilling onto the floor so she began to say "no, dont open the drawer Mary" and every time her daughter opened it, she calmly said the same thing while closing the drawer. 10 minutes went by, then her daughter lost interest and played with other things. Patience, persistance and never give up and let them do what you told them they cant do. And interestingly, she never raised her voice.
I hope that helps. BTW you sound like a good mum
TonyWK
