Dear ChrisSA1985~
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. It is a good move as it lets you look for others who have had similar problems and how they have coped.
Wanting a relationship to last is a very natural thing, it's one of the things that keep people happy and together, unfortunately for you that wanting has gone overboard and any reassurance you get only lasts a little while.
Because you have not said so I'm assuming your partner is not doing things that would make anyone worry about their relationship - being constantly unfaithful would be an example..
You are quite right in wanting to break this cycle, the anxiety makes for a terible life for you and I would expect your partner may find it difficult to give lasting reassurance - they may even blame themselves even though it is not justified.
I don't think your anxiety is going to be stopped by mere words, after all it is an emotional thing and htey are not that amenable to logical arguments. I found this with other forms of anxiety, for example no matter how well I did at my job I was always worried I was not doing enough. No amount of reassurance made much difference.
What did make a difference for me was clinical therapy and some medication. This looked at my fears and got me to understand what was realy happening. It turned my life around and I no longer feel this way, having enough self confidence to know I make a positive contribution.
So my I suggest you seek medical assistance, after all if it helped me I'd hope it would help you the same. If you have not done so already book a long consultation with a GP or Medicare Mental Health center if there is one near your, explain how you have been feeling and the turmoil it is making of your life. Then see what sort of diagnosis they make and see if they recommend therapy (rather than just medication) with a psychologist or psychiatrist.
It is true these clinicians can be expensive (not many bulk bill) however two things may help at least in part, the first is if your GP considers you are suitable for the Better Access Plan, and secondly Medicare does have a safety net helping with your expenses once they reach an annual limit.
One of the differences I found is that now when someone I respect tells me my fears are not sensible I believe them and this makes huge difference. Before their words would have made little difference.
If you would like to come back and talk some more that would be great
Croix
