Need advice!

[bh75]

So I’m 20yrs old and I’ve just house sat for a couple months elsewhere.  (live with my parents). Before I started house sitting my parents mainly my mother and I would constantly argue and it would get quite toxic. It’s started to get to my head. My mother and I haven’t gotten along for a while. I didn’t contact them a lot while house sitting, so then they came to me and said to not return back home for a month before I go overseas for 5 weeks on a holiday. 
so I planned on staying with pretty much my second family. Then the next day my mother called me and acted like nothing happened and said that if we sort it out (how we don’t get along) then I can come back. But I don’t want to go back before I go away for my holiday. 
I don’t get along with my mother due to all the arguments she blames everything on everyone else, especially me. Then I’ll say how she said certain things and she will turn around and said that she didn’t and that I misunderstood. 
I know that if I tell them I don’t want to come back she will lose it and it’s going to turn into another fight.

Any suggestions would be great 

[jaz28]

Hi bh75,

I am sorry you are going through this, it must be very hard for you. Your relationship with your mother can be important and hurtful when it is rocky like this. I understand her wanting to make amends, but you also have to stand up for your own mental health and wellness. If you say you don't want to come back because of how she treats you (and how this makes you feel), that's all you can do. You cannot control her reaction and I don't really think it's fair on you to pretend like nothing happens just to avoid a fight.

Maybe 5 weeks on your holiday will be a good break for you, and you can come back refreshed and willing to talk with her. You can also see your doctor for a psychologist referral if you need to discuss this with a professional.

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx