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My relationship ended abruptly and I'm not sure what happened to me.

JESSICAV
Community Member
Hi guys. I’m
not diagnosed with a problem, but I have had a lot of issues in the last few
months which accumulated and caused the end of a long term relationship. I
became obsessive and I suffocated my partner with attention and constant
contact. I had suffered some mood swings and mood changes in front of his
friends and in private which I thought had to do with me beginning to take
contraceptives, but I’m not sure anymore. He told me the stress became too much
and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I hadn’t been feeling
myself for months and I was unhappy. I was struggling to enjoy myself. He is
chronically ill and I felt a really strong desire to be his carer, I wanted to purposefully
make it known that I cared. I pressured him to move out with me to the point he didn't want to anymore since its so difficult with a disability pension. I am very scared to get evaluated. My father has
extreme anxiety and I am terrified something is wrong with me that I cannot
fix. I am grieving the loss of my partner, but I catch myself thinking about it
constantly and I have crying outbursts every now and again. My train of thought
changes from “well maybe he wasn’t for me and we weren’t for each other” to “am
I possibly bipolar or depressed”. We only separated this week so I guess this
is normal. However I have done this in previous relationships also. I am afraid
something is wrong and I’m scared of finding out. I wanted to talk to someone,
see if anyone has experienced the same things. Thank you
4 Replies 4

Boo1986
Community Member

Hi Jessica,

I'm no expert, just a fellow sufferer and have heard from lots of people that being on the pill has also caused them mood swings. Don't be frightened to see a doctor or a psychologist. Being diagnosed doesn't mean you have to accept that there is just something wrong with you, it gives you ways that you can fix it. Getting professional help was one of the best things I ever did for myself. If you find a psychologist that really gets you, they are such a good support and really help you to get your thought clear.

I get very attached to relationships and go through hell when it ends, I don't know if I could cope without the support of my psychologist. Remember, you don't have to go through this alone.

xo

Anony18
Community Member

Hi JESSICAV

One of the side effects of the pill is mood swings however not everyone experiences it. I am on the pill and I won't get I have mood swings but I have days where I am down or angry etc - usually when it is PMS, I lack sleep or something happened at work or with my partner. Like you sometimes when I am down for a couple days in row I question if I am suffering from mental health. As Boo1986 states if you are uncertain do go see a GP or psychologist.

I completely understand about wanting to care for someone and becoming over-caring. I am currently in this situation myself with my partner but I am not sure what balance is right. Am waiting to see him in person (hopefully tonight) to talk things through and see how that goes. I am trying to be hopeful though today emotionally it is a bit hard.

Anony

pipsy
Community Member

Hi JESSICAV. It sounds as though you could suffering from a form of anxiety neurosis. I'm no Dr, but I can recall experiencing similar feelings over the man in my life's continued refusal to acknowledge where we are in the relationship. Your need to 'care' for him is possibly because caring for him means he needs you. The grief you're experiencing, coupled with the depression you're feeling over this breakup, would most likely be making the anxiety worse. Maybe therapy would help you sort out why you have the need to care for him. I know you said he has a chronic illness, but if he has been managing to care for himself, this would tend to make you feel more 'shut out' and not part of him. Perhaps a talk with your Dr might be a good starting point. Ask about a referral to a therapist for some guidance. I am still no closer to knowing where I am with the man I care about.

Lynda

SydneyKat
Community Member
I am in the same boat. I just wanted to say I understand.