My partner spies my every move online and on social media

[Gerarldo1]

Hi everyone

I am new to this forum and would like to get some advice. Well let's just start by saying a little while ago my partner of 5 years caught me watching porn from my browser's history; I may have an addiction but I don't believe it is a serious cause for concern as it is somewhat common amongst men without generalising. We had a little argument which likely developed into a more civil conversation. I sort of came clean by admitting that I was indeed watching it but this was no indication on the strength of my relationship with her. Ever since this exchange I have noticed that she has been pretty much spying on me. Like checking regularly my browser's history my Facebook account and she's been obsessed about finding out if I have those private webcam account (which I don't and will never have). I don't know if she's checking my phone constantly when I'm in the shower or simply by leaving it unattended but it has become pretty invasive and I don't really know how to deal with it. Now there may be few things that I can be guilty of but nothing to warrant such invasion of privacy. I worry she might become full on paranoid. I don't want this to put a stain on, I believe, our really strong relationship.

There have been discussions about potentially getting married and having kids which I'm really excited about but with the past few months it gives me a sense of uneasiness.

I do try to reduce my erotica consumption which to her credit is not really healthy for my psyche but I don't believe in any shape or form it is a betraying behaviour.

I would love to hear what people have to say about this issue.

[Kim1988]

My advice would be to deal with any underlying issues now before any baby comes along because once your partner has a small baby to look after there will be little time to focus on these things. 

I wish I had picked up on my husband’s behaviour sooner than I did.

[ecomama]

Dear Gerarldo1

Welcome to the forums. I hope you pop back in and absorb the feedback and decide for yourself/ yourselves a direction to take. 

I echo the suggestion of relationship counselling now, well before any further commitment is made. 

Major chasms can appear in r/ships with this kind of opposing viewpoint stance, nipping it in the bud honestly is the only way imho. The alternative is facing a repeated pattern of exactly what you're doing... hiding a practice / habit of yours, her finding out and trust is broken, her behaviours in response and you getting angry she doesn't trust you (and you wonder why), then not seeing her POV, wash rinse repeat...unhappy ending. Unhappy travelling too ime. 

Each person knowing what are "deal breakers" before committing is a great start. 
This could easily be your partner's deal breaker. 

Best of luck
EM