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My life is chaos recent breakup is killing me!

Brad84
Community Member
Hi I have been separated for about a month but really it's been years.
My ex hates me. I want to try and make it work but I'm told I'm a narcissist,
I have a sex addiction, I'm seeing someone behind her back and I'm being out right deceitful.
She has access to all my gmail phone account everything.
She still says I am up to no good. I am not at all I am being honest and iv said I want her and my son's In my life.
And I want it to work I am a open book. I know she can see everything and that's fine but for something I havnt done?
I know it is finished, she doesn't love me at all any more. Understandable.
I still want to try and be a good dad and ex partner but in every way I'm accused of being a sly creepy loser.
I have just called men's health line about my situation and thoughts of suicide. I need a behaviour group therapist.
I want to live my life but to be told I would be better off 6 feet under , Kills. I'm not hiding anything from her I am not being deceitful. I really just want help with me living my life in peace and not like I'm on the FBI watch list.
I'm just not sure what and where I should go hope I can sort something out coz it's effecting everything I just wish we worked our relationship out and made the family I wanted for my boys. And sorry to my family for failing them i wish I didn't coz I am innocent here I don't want war I want peace.
Who can i talk to and thanks if any one reads this. Brad
6 Replies 6

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
HI Brad,

The Beyond Blue forums are a very good place to start. Welcome and thank you for taking the brave step in sharing this with us today. We're sorry to hear how much turmoil you are in at the moment and want you to know things can get better.

Our forums provide a safe and non-judgmental place where community members give and recieve support based on their own experiences of mental health, many of which will bear similarities to what you're currently going through.

You can also speak to one of our qualified mental health professionals at our support service day or night 24/7 year-round on 1300 22 4636 or if you prefer to type than talk, you can webchat them between 3pm and midnight AEST or email them and expect a reply within 24 hours via: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

You might also like to consider reaching out to Relationships Australia who should be able to provide support for you as an individual or for your whole family. You can call then on 1300 364 277 or vist their website: http://www.relationships.org.au/.

Once again, welcome to our valued and caring online forums community. Please check in and let us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

Guest909
Community Member

G'day Brad

Welcome to BB; I wish it could have been under better circumstances.

First off, I don't think you are a "narcissist"; if you were, you would not be on BB looking for answers. Reading through your post, I can see many similarities to my own separation a little over a year ago.

I got the same list of vile accusations from my wife. Sadly, at first, I believed everything I was told. I blamed myself for the marriage failure. I took some time for me to realise that my wife was really talking about herself, not me. If you are interested, look into the phycology of abuse by a narcissist; it's a real eye opener.

There is help out there if you are willing to look for it. Adding to what Sophie_M has suggested, you can get Medicare subsidized access to a phycologist by visiting your GP, and asking for a "Mental Health Care Plan". If you are having thoughts of suicide this might be a good place to start. In addition, your GP might suggest some sort of medical intervention in the form of medication. You will need all the help you can get.

Have you have any legal advice on property and parenting? If no, "Relationships Australia" or the "Men's Legal Service" are cost effective options.

I wish you luck in your peace talks!

Hi, welcome

So sad what you’re going through.

Good advice given above.

This is the time for withdrawing from your ex as you can’t do anything right. Also put in place some personal protection eg (as Mr Paul has said) legal measure to guarantee property division and visitation rights.

There is a possibility your ex could over time mature some and have some conversations about the kids and that I’m afraid is all you could wish for.

For the remainder of your life- move on.As time goes by it gets easier and more time and you’ll be grateful it didn’t work out.

My guilt with my ex melted away when I dropped my kids off one day, her new husband met me at the gate and asked me for advice. He mentioned problems he had with her- the same issues I had. He left her soon after.

So don’t blame yourself. Be the best part time dad your kids will ever have!

Theyll appreciate you. Even if you’re demonised by her.

Google

beyondblue topic the best praise you’ll ever get

TonyWK

Brad84
Community Member
Hi Sophie and Thank you for the information I will look into relationships Australia for individual counciling and have a look into getting help to have a healthy relationship/life cheers Brad

Brad84
Community Member
Thanks Mr Paul I am I don't feel narcissistic I'm just blunt and I don't think before I talk 99% of the time i have tried to fight for my family for ages now I do blame myself also and I wish It worked the whole story of my 15 year relationship is crazy. No one else would of tried the way we both did in certain ways but every time we split iv never taken items fridge or beds etc I have always left with my own bags she knows I don't need anything Il always try and support her even in our break up but I will like a stable visitation setup coz I love my son's and I want 2 show them the love a dad shows their mum but being together since 2005 we've had to much hurt. N I talked to a doctor yesterday I am seeking a mental health care plan cheers for the help Mr Paul. Thanks again Brad

Hi Tony glad you found peace and I am struggling with this whole situation and knowing it's all my fault iv basically walked from her and the boys when I havnt I really just want them safe healthy and happy I want to see my boys grow up and be better men then myself I have no property as such but my parents died about 4 to 5 years ago just before my first son n about 6 months before my second son I have nothing to hand my boys if I die so for last 5 years I pay life insurance in hope at least one way my boys will get something from me being some days I swear she wants a heart attack. But either way my boys should get something from me either my traits / faults and my love of my son's it's a bit better than I received as a child. Karma and peaceful vibes for my little chaotic family is want I need peace be with you all and thanks for your input guys n gals cheers Brad