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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Michelle1978 Blindsided after a 2 year relationship
  • replies: 5

I met a really nice man at a speed dating event 2 years ago and it we both liked each other instantly. I always thought we had a great relationship and friendship we always had a great time together. Before Covid hit, we had a week away interstate fo... View more

I met a really nice man at a speed dating event 2 years ago and it we both liked each other instantly. I always thought we had a great relationship and friendship we always had a great time together. Before Covid hit, we had a week away interstate for a holiday which we both enjoyed. Covid19 has made things a little tricky but we managed to get out and do some long walks etc and still saw each other about 3 times a week. we celebrated our two year anniversary a couple of weeks ago and I thought everything was fine. He came over to my place last week and said that we needed to split up and that his feelings had changed and he didnt see a future with me. I was in shock and so upset. I was crying and he was crying too. I was actually comforting him. it’s like he had made his decision and wasn’t prepared to give it another chance or anymore time. I was in shock and wasn’t talking much because I just didn’t know what to say at all. He said that he doesn’t mind if I sms him from time to time. Anyway fast forward 5 days later and I am upset. I feel like I have lost my best friend overnight and it feels strange not haven’t heard from him at all since that night. A couple of friends have said I should contact him and let him know my thoughts given that I have had time to reflect on it but i don’t feel up to it. I haven’t been in a situation like this before and just don’t know what to do.

Helplesspartner Help supporting my partner - I don't want to give up
  • replies: 4

I have been with my partner for nine years, before that we were best friends, we have been in each other’s lives for 15 years. We are 31. We had such a great relationship because we had the fundamentals of a great friendship. We never had fights, lot... View more

I have been with my partner for nine years, before that we were best friends, we have been in each other’s lives for 15 years. We are 31. We had such a great relationship because we had the fundamentals of a great friendship. We never had fights, lots of laughs, the same hobbies, just a great couple. We were saving to buy our first home and planning our family. Since he turned 30, he has been depressed, binge drinking, some drug use (never experimented before this), and just general comments regarding ‘I thought I would have achieved more by 30’ etc. He has history of childhood trauma, which has been bubbling at the surface for years, but he would only talk about it when drunk. About 4 years ago he went to a GP and was diagnosed with depression, commenced antidepressants. He took them for a short while then stopped as he didn't like 'feeling out of it'. He went to one councillor session, however it wasn't a good fit so he didn't return. 14 weeks ago, he confessed to an affair. He had been seeing her for a few weeks and had slept with her once. He was incredibly emotional, with lots of tears and devastation. I was heartbroken and immediately left. He has since told me that he never wanted a relationship with the other woman, but he couldn't live with the secret and he knew it would be over when he told me. He later revealed he had planned to kill himself at that time We are still seperated, and he is spiralling out of control. I've told him he can come home so we can start to rebuild, he says he wants to be home but still isn't here! I believe it is so he can continue his reckless behaviour, and have no one to answer to. I am so worried about his alcohol intake, he is drinking daily to excess. He has told me he drinks in the morning, before,during and after work. He has also started experimenting with drugs. Nothing too sinister, but high amounts of antihistamines, medications etc. He said he is looking to get high, not harm himself as I asked that. We had a great relationship before this, and I feel as though it’s like a Midlife, he is very depressed, often talks about 'im already dead', no goals or ambition at all, describes himself as 'beige' and has told me he has considered hurting himself! I've asked him to see a GP, I've gently supported him, I've cried, I've said 'suit yourself' I am lost and I want my best friend back.

Samvv Advice about an IVO breach
  • replies: 2

The situation: my ex partner was abusive. My response: I contacted the police who advocated for me in court and an IVO was placed on X for 15 months. Since then he had tried to message my mother on Facebook. The message was ignored. I have a family v... View more

The situation: my ex partner was abusive. My response: I contacted the police who advocated for me in court and an IVO was placed on X for 15 months. Since then he had tried to message my mother on Facebook. The message was ignored. I have a family violence support worker who asks me every week about any breaches on Xs IVO. I knew closer to the birth, in one month that he would try and the day before my birthday I get a message on my phone from his son who is 25 and lives with him asking how me and the baby are. Since I never gave his son my number I'm pretty sure X's is using him to get info BUT I also don't want to cut my son's half brother out if I'm wrong. He will need his half brother. Im being manipulated again or am I? Should I report this to DHS? Or should I give his son a chance to do the right thing? He is in breach of the IVO if he is attempting to get to me via others. I ... Am so vulnerable right now I messaged back and just told him I'm fine, the baby is almost due and it's a boy but nothing else. Did I do the wrong thing? Im so conflicted and feel so alone.

Peri125 Depressed
  • replies: 1

I was in a relationship for 6 years before I married my husband. He was very emotionally abusive during that time aswell but I never understood that. He would yell at me and call me names. Say horrible things about my family . He even cheated on me b... View more

I was in a relationship for 6 years before I married my husband. He was very emotionally abusive during that time aswell but I never understood that. He would yell at me and call me names. Say horrible things about my family . He even cheated on me before our marriage and I forgave him but he took that as my weakness and used it against me. After the wedding he moved to Australia and joined him later. After I came to Australia he made me feel like a burden and started giving me all sorts of conditions about how I cannot bring my family here or support them the money I will earn when I get a job. He was horrible to me most part of the time. Then after 5 months I had to go back to bangladesh because I needed to get some work experience and he had an observership where family wasn't allowed. After i went back he started to create fights with me for no reason. Never was there for me in any form. And prevented me to going back to him. Everytime I would ask him about when I can come back he always said no he doesnt want me there. He would not give me a divorce and prevent me from filing for one aswell. He later on told me he was cheating on me and got someone pregnant but she got an abortion. He then wanted me to go visit him but as soon as I was booking the tickets he changed his mind and blamed everything that has happened on me. So I stopped talking to him altogether. After i did so he started calling me everyday and even my mom because I wouldn't pick up. He was still cheating on me while doing which I later found out. His parents were persistent and requested me very much to go and see how things are in Australia and that they will be there with me while I talk to my husband and give it a shot.

Skye79 Morning I thought I will give this a try
  • replies: 2

Hi I been struggling with depression, anxiety and panic attacks for over 25yrs. I with professional help, psychiatrist & psychologist. I have had a lot of trouble with finding medication that works longer then six months, at this stage I had at least... View more

Hi I been struggling with depression, anxiety and panic attacks for over 25yrs. I with professional help, psychiatrist & psychologist. I have had a lot of trouble with finding medication that works longer then six months, at this stage I had at least 15 different medication changes. I’m married (20yrs) with 3 teenagers, my husband been very supportive and we have tried to teach our kids to understand (I never want them to feel it’s them). Just over the last few months I think I have finally broken my husband and feel he’s having a break down and I have no idea how to support him, he’s always been the strong one and I know I have to carry him for a bit but I’m scared that I’m not strong enough for the both of us. We are talking about doctors appointment. Which is good but feeling very lost Thanks for taking the time to read

PlainJane01 How can I get my happy Mum back?
  • replies: 5

The last 6 months has been so rough for my Mum. Dad had a heart attack, his mother passed away leaving us to run into toxic family members who bullied my mother. Since corona she has only had 3 shifts at her place of work. She feels awful and as if s... View more

The last 6 months has been so rough for my Mum. Dad had a heart attack, his mother passed away leaving us to run into toxic family members who bullied my mother. Since corona she has only had 3 shifts at her place of work. She feels awful and as if she can’t ‘provide for her family like a mother should’. I try to help but I struggle with my own depression and feel like I don’t have my Mum there to help me, as I don’t want to burden her with my problems. She says since Dad had the heart attack she feels like ‘things will never be good again’. It breaks my heart. I need my happy Mum back. I would appreciate there any Mothers or people in a similar situation that could give me advice.

Mumoftwo16 Am I over reacting
  • replies: 1

I've been a relationship for 91/2 years we've had our share of ups n downs like any relationship we have a 6 year old together. But over the last 3 1/2 years it's been more downs than ups. I got a phone call from a guy stating i should check my partn... View more

I've been a relationship for 91/2 years we've had our share of ups n downs like any relationship we have a 6 year old together. But over the last 3 1/2 years it's been more downs than ups. I got a phone call from a guy stating i should check my partners phone as he was texting a girl he worked with so I did found messages staring he had been checking her out and he wanted to take things further that he fancied her. When I confronted him he said it was just two friends joking around 12 months later same thing but different girl again told same thing just me over reacting. Two years ago I lost my dad very suddenly very unexpected he was my word the only person that really got me always knew when something wasn't right with me and always knew what to say and do to make me feel better I've really struggled without him here depression has set in big time. But 4 months i found out my partner had been secretly massaging and meeting up with a 27 year old 18 years younger than him again I confronted him only to be told they were only friends and nothing happened that she had bad depression that he was trying to her. Not once has he been there for me with mine the only support I've got from him is my dad is gone and that he is never coming back i just feel like I'm nothing to him And all he is doing is disrespecting me as a partner, mother because this is something I would never do to him. I asked him to cut all contract with this girl he said would told me he was off Facebook and Instagram but Friday I found out he has still got Instagram and he blocked me from seeing he's account and is now following the 27 year old. I don't know what to think I'm so broken

Belle1223 *TRigger Warning -Struggles with abusive ex, parents in law and kids
  • replies: 3

Ex and I separated in December. He was violent towards me and police became involved. we were together 15 years. Probably for about 2 years he was a abusive and the 6 months before we separated it became physical. It was very traumatising. I’d just h... View more

Ex and I separated in December. He was violent towards me and police became involved. we were together 15 years. Probably for about 2 years he was a abusive and the 6 months before we separated it became physical. It was very traumatising. I’d just had a new baby who is now 1yo. I left a few times but went back as he seemed very remorseful. But the entire pregnancy and her first 6 months were incredibly stressful. We also have a 2yo and 10yo, and I struggled caring for them and going through being treated so horribly. I asked his parents for help a number of times when he was in one of his abusive rants (calling me nasty names, accusing me of disgusting untrue things. Saying he hoped Awful things would happen to me etc). Even one time while on the phone to his mum he started saying he should hurt people. His parents didn’t want to help me. They would talk to him on the phone for a while and then he would get off the phone and tell me how they sent their love. Occasionally I would get a text message after calling for help saying something like ... he seemed ok and they hoped I was well. Even after I left due to the previous violence his mum wouldn’t pass on a message to him to not return to the house after the temporary order ended (I couldn’t Msg him due to not wanting the temporary restraining order to be revoked). She said sorry but it would have to come from me. I understand it was never their responsibility to help me but I just felt so alone over the years this abuse was going on I got a restraining order for 2 years. I allowed him visits every 2 weeks supervised with his parents. They would come to my home and stay about half a day every 2 weeks. There were times my ex was verbally abusive to me and they witnessed this. He would send me abusive messages every couple of weeks. It was mentally draining trying to look after 3 kids, work and deal with his abuse. He sent my parents threats of violence 2 weeks ago and I decided to stop all visits. He came over last week anyway and I called the police. The past few years has been so horrible and draining. I feel as though I can’t cope with him and his family anymore. I hold resentment towards them all. I just want to be in peace and look after my children...I feel I need to look after myself. The parents just keep nagging me to see the kids. Not to help me in any way, but just for me to let them visit, or bring the kids to them. I just feel I’ve had enough.

Tmg1710 My husband prefers sleeping alone and is not interested in sex
  • replies: 2

Im married 6 years and its been a tough ride.I think we are just room partners trying to raise our kid together.Im scared to talk to him about it.Because he gets frustrated and angry.He prefers watching porn over having sex. This had affected me ment... View more

Im married 6 years and its been a tough ride.I think we are just room partners trying to raise our kid together.Im scared to talk to him about it.Because he gets frustrated and angry.He prefers watching porn over having sex. This had affected me mentally and physically.His interest in sex has always been low.He prefers virtual things.I feel lonely ugly and rejected. He is always watching movies or playing games or talking to his friends.He does all repsoniblities well the physical duties.Cleaning ,coming with me to hospital if required.But it just seems robotic..

Littlebluescent Seperation grief
  • replies: 1

Hi, My ex girlfriend (I'm female, not that it makes a difference, but she was the first girl I'd ever loved after being in not so great relationships with men) left me over a year ago, because she was struggling with depression along with being in ea... View more

Hi, My ex girlfriend (I'm female, not that it makes a difference, but she was the first girl I'd ever loved after being in not so great relationships with men) left me over a year ago, because she was struggling with depression along with being in early recovery from substance abuse and couldn't handle being in a relationship at that time. I've checked in with her every now and then throughout the year to see how she is going, but I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas. She was pretty much my soulmate and I loved her more than I've loved anyone. I feel I'm still grieving our separation. I've not really spoken about this to family, only some friends. Most days I'm fine, but every now and then I still cry about it. Being single isn't an issue for me and in fact, I've learnt a lot from staying single, but some days I struggle because I miss her. I still hold love for her and I probably will for a long time. This doesn't mean I won't ever move on, it just means she meant a lot to me and the love doesn't go away just because we aren't together. I guess I just want to know if anyone has experienced something similar, because some days I feel like I'm going crazy. Thank you for taking the time to read. Any response is much appreciate.

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