My life feels like it will be forever controlled

[Guest_50972490]

My mother from a young age used to treat me like dirt , when smacking she would really hit hard , she would always fight with my father and kick him out , also would hit him too ( and being close with him would really stress me out ) 

I have developed ocd and there has been a massive fear of leaving home 

( even thought she controls what I do and puts me down ) 

and I need to move out now 

and the the cycle of fights is starting again 

I have no where to go as I can’t get a place and have no other family to run to that aren’t already making the situation worse 

with Easter coming up , I really don’t want to be home with them

i feel forever stuck 

[Alecia1407]

I hope you’re doing ok. 😔 

I recently got back in contact with my mum. because I needed my stuff and I needed some financial support, and I was getting bullied and pushed into doing it by my partner who I have not seen for five months who is stressing me out and who is stalking.

she’s a narcissist. and she’s not very nice to people. been trying my hardest to escape from her for my own well-beingfor my whole life since I was 16. when she kicked me out. I began to live and create my own positive life, and with that I wanted to show her and prove to her that I am fine without her that every time I tried to do that, she would toxically hurt me, over the phone affect me by ruining my goals in my life again. I was in denial about her.  I presume that’s because of my horrible experience & upbringing

 I was recently sharing with a friend in January/February this year (we re-connected from school. I’m 3now.
three other siblings who have disowned my Mother /, they’ve actually moved to the other side of the planet.

 I don’t know your situation, but putting yourself and your safety first is crucial. 

if there Is no friends houses that you can stay at that you feel safe at,  try calling a helpline service for adviceThere may be some helpful information there. I’m not sure of your situation but If can afford it. if it was my situation I’d Stay somewhere you like that keeps you safe and where you can relax. it is Easter. 

things will get better if you have your own personal space I’ve just got my own personal brand new house two months ago my friend helped me and we got a house for me. I’ve come out of domestic violence and I’ve moved over 24 times. 

I hope things improve for you.