My Husband VS My Family

[Aria87]

For many years my husband has been "putting up"with how my family behave.
I used to cover up for them whenever they would be in the wrong, assuming it would help him just move on from the situation as i believe you cannot change people and at the end of the day im used to how my family are.

December came to breaking point, where i had an argument with a sibling, which lead to my husband letting out all his frustration against my family. Which lead me to confronting people and their behavious, in which they have all learn how to speak to in laws etc.

My mother is a big help in my life, now my husband refuses to help drop off our son at her house as he doesn't want to see her until hes ready. This brings a huge divide for me as my family want to apologize to him to work and move on from the siutation.
My husband feels if he does this he is giving in and it will only happen again. Ive made it VERY clear the boundaries noone can cross.
Im not expecting my husband to have daily lunches with any of my family. But i do wish he would just let my mum know whats bothered him, allowed her to apologize and we learn and move on from this. My husband needs more time, but the more time the more its oging to break more relationships and this gives me massive anxiety. I feel i cant turn to any family as they will just keep pushing me to fix my husband, ad i cant keep pushing my husband because im afraid he will loose it.
Please help 😞

[Olliepop]

So, i have found myself in this situation too.
My husband has many feelings with my family.

How inapropriate my siblings and their kids are, how my parents dont say anything to my siblings when they are out of line, how much everyone attacks my father for little things, how my mother puts down my father infront of people.. this is a massive trigger for my husband. And on Christmas day he had enough.

He insisted we leave my family Christmas event abruptly... .which was awkward for my son and i... my siblings all tried to make me feel bad stating my parents were upset naturally... and thats all they care about.

Everytime i try explain why my husband feels like he does, they attack back stating how they are in shock i defend him. then they imply that he's mentally abusive because i stick by my husbands side to support him.

My husband lost his father, and he was his best friend, so when he sees a situation where a father is put down, this makes him very emotional. now, everyone is  mad at me. The more i try explain my husband, the more im shut down and attack back. my oldest sibling went through a phase with his inlaws, took YEARS for him to settle down, my other sibling is so hard and rude he has lost many friends and family memebers along the way and blames everyone else but himself, my parents had their ups and downs an dmy mother just attacks and be littles my dad along the way, and every family has something... i told my husband i felt it was uncalled for to leave the event, and the sorry is too late now. i understand my husbands feelings, but also wish he tolerated my family more like i do his.