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Mother & Boyfriend Issues (23F)

NOLA2018
Community Member

A few months ago I started dating one of my friends who my parents knew and appeared to like. When I told them that after being friends for years we had been spending more time with each other and thought there might be more. My mother lost it at this, pretty much because she thought he was not good enough up for me and not the right cultural fit for the family. Liking him enough I pushed through the initial resistance that I was met with from my family. It has been months of constantly being emotional and I have felt my anxiety starting to kick in again.

Over time my mother has started to accept we are dating, she has made it clear she is not happy about it and still makes snide remarks but says at the end of the day she wants me to be happy. I enjoy the time I spend with my boyfriend and definitely look forward to it, I also enjoy spending time with my family in what feels like normal times again. But underlying all of this every time I feel even slightly happy I start feeling guilty or wondering when my next fight with Mum is. I have also become very emotional crying whenever the topic is breached or even sometimes just when I am thinking about it at work or in my own time. I have also started wondering if I will ever truly be happy/carefree again or has something snapped in me due to not getting support from my family about my decision.

Any suggestions/feedback would be very much appreciated.

1 Reply 1

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Nola

Welcome to the forum. This is a caring and supportive community.

I understand how stressful it is for you having found someone you are happy with but also wanting the approval from your mum.

It is so hard when you want your mum’s approval so much that it affects your happiness with your partner.

When you mention .cultural issues being part of why your mum does not like your partner.

Have you been able to discus this further with you mum.?

For some families it is important for the children to date people from the same culture and or same religion.

Is your mum polite to your boyfriend in person .?

Do you have someone supportive in your family or among your friends or in your community.?

Many people will be able to relate to you.

You are not alone.

Thanks for your post..

Quirky