Missing ex boyfriend

[Anna_Mac]

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me in November due to depression. He said he will start counselling and we may be able to date again once he feels better. His depression was caused by a family situation, very difficult parents etc. I spoke to his best friend recently and was told that the guy I was dating was very sad and hurting a lot about the break up, and was very unhappy with the situation. Apparently he is planning on leaving the family farm so he can be happy again. I miss him so much but can't talk to him as he wanted space to sort himself out. He was my best friend and we loved each other very much.

[Croix]

Dear Anna Mac~

You are going though a difficult time. I can see you have already talked about your relationship in the following threads:

Forums / Relationship and family issues / Boyfriend has depression and broke up with me
Forums / Relationship and family issues / Advice needed for relationship
Forums / Depression / Dreading Christmas

I have posted the locations to assist anyone wishing to respond.

It can be pretty difficult to find a person's other threads here in the Forum, plus of course you often have to repeat your self each time.

Thanks

Croix (who will reply himself a bit later)

[MissBenthos]

Hi Anna,

what a hard situation to put you in! So ambiguous. Will he come back or will he leave you hanging?

I would suggest giving it a little time but also for your own sanity to put a limit on how long you will wait. You can't hold on forever, that's not fair to you and it will be like a drawn out grief to endlessly wait.

I think you would also benefit from seeing a councillor, they will help you process what's going on and give you better clarity on making the best decisions for you.

[Anna_Mac]

Thanks, I am seeing a psychologist and she has been very helpful. It's just been a while between visits because she was away over the holidays so I thought I'd post on here.

Im trying to go out and do things and try new stuff so I feel like I'm moving on in that regard but I don't feel ready yet to move on from him. I guess I'll know when the time is right. It was a really nice relationship and I really want him back if he feels better soon.

[Croix]

Dear Anna Mac~

There really is no right answer to your dilemma, you are doing the best you can to take care of yourself and really have no indicators of how you ex-boyfriend will feel in the months ahead. Eight years, as you said elsewhere, is a large part of both your lives and very hard to just write off.

I do think MissBenthos has a point though, having a tentative end date to work towards will give you a measure of direction and surety, if matters change in the interim you can always change course.

I do hope it works out

Croix