Married and have a crush on some from work - Please help me

[lordrainyday8888]

I am a happily married guy with a beautiful and supporting wife - However, off lately met this girl at work and gone head over heels about her - I cannot stop thinking about and miss her every second in my life. when I see this girl at I am super energetic and very happy when I am with her and the movement I am back home - I unable to concentrate on anything and trying everything to stop thinking about her - But unable to do so the girl from work does not even know I love her so much and she is a good friend of mine and unable to express my feelings for her. Please help me - I don't know what to do - it's just driving me insane. I am pretty much-consuming alcohol every day in copious mounts just to sleep - I am totally frustrated with this situation and even thought of telling this person i have feelings for her but way too afraid to let her know. Can someone please advised me what i need to - thanks for your'e support

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy,

The psychologist asked if I ready to divorce my wife and pursue this girl at work and unfortunately the answer is No as my wife has been with me all these times - we shared our joys and sorrows and it totally hurts to leave my wife and go with someone whom I have hardly know.

Between my wife and myself, things have kinda slowed down in every way as every time she wants to be with me I try to push her away, or even when I am with her I am always faking and be happy so she does not worry about it - deep down inside I am always thinking about that girl from work even when I am having a chat with my wife.

The psychologist also suggested letting my feelings know for this girl at work and the worst case would be she would say NO and at least I know the answer and then move on.

The thing is I am 1000% sure the girl from work will straight away say NO and the crazy bit is I need to be at work and see her every day and it is completely hard for me to be in that situation once the lockdown gets lifted - I even looked up the word limerence and can relate to my situation. I am really sorry to hear u had to go through your situation with this married lady- Hopefully, things should work out and I need to straighten my head and sick of drinking alcohol to get over this.

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy

I feel the spark between myself and my wife has slowly died - I am not sure if it's work commitment or something - the lady from work has exactly the same characteristics as my wife - really soft-spoken, down to earth, easy-going, friendly, and can connect easily. The girl from work her - there is something about her especially when I see her big beautiful EYES It's like Diamonds and that smile of her's so striking - when I see that sparkle it just makes my heart pump with excitement and extremely happy to see her and interact with her but unfortunately cannot be with her and I miss it the most. I am so sad and unhappy all the time to know that I can never be with her. its my bloody fate

[Matchy69]

Hi Lordrainyday I understand about that spark missing from your marriage and a new lady coming along and giving you that spark.It happens in a lot of marriages you just become familiar with each other and just live your life day today with nothing new and exciting.The married lady I met had the most sweetest sounding voice and was so polite and spoke so nicely and had most amazing long hair. Alcohol is not real good thing to turn to I have been down that road and found it made me more depressed and angry.Try not to use it as a coping mechanism.
Take care,
Mark.

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy,

Sorry to hear what has happened to you in the past - I completely understand how hard is it to let go of things and take a path of self-destruction - I will try my level best not to consume alcohol and try to work it out it from there. I sometimes wish I had never come across this girl at work and be happy - it has hit me to a point -where there is no hope - I have had bad times in the past but not to a point where it has eventually exhausted my mind and body - TC

[NeverEver]

Hello lordrainyday8888
I was just reading your thread

Someone once told me some think when I was in high school and it has stuck with me ever since

(Never leave the one you Love, For the one you like, As the one you like will leave you for the one they Love )

Just thought I would share as I have been in your place, it is very hard, very confusing, very sad and no matter what happens some one will get hurt, mostly you :(

But remember this saying as this is what bring you back to reality and remember why you fell in LOVE with your wife
We all get a crush but that's what it is a CRUSH ..

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Never ever

(Never leave the one you Love, For the one you like, As the one you like will leave you for the one they Love ) - makes a lot of sense.

Sorry to hear that u had to go through that situation and been in that boat before.

This Crush of mine crushing me physically and mentally - I am so broken from inside - I don't know what to do - super unhappy :-(. She has not done anything to me - but i am just going insane thinking about her - need to do something before this drives me to the wall . TC

[ecomama]

Hey lordrainyday8888

You could be honest with your wife? Have you considered doing this?

You seem to be driving yourself crazy over this other woman.
If I were your wife, I'd like to know about that.

I'm sure if your wife was crazy, head over heels over another man, you'd like to know?

I'd most certainly leave you to it.
I have so much compassion for your wife right now mainly because this isn't fair on her.

You know this but continue on.

There's one way to change the situation and that's by telling your wife.

It could be the best thing in the world for you to be alone for a while and sort out your feelings.

Good luck
EM

[lordrainyday8888]

Hey eco mama

Thanks for your valuable input - I have always thought about telling it to my wife - but I am very very scared I might lose her in life which I am really not mentally prepared for

I think the only way for me to work this out is to try my level best to keep less contact with this person from work and concentrate on other things and move forward and work it out from there or get a new job and move out from this place in order for me to forget this person so I don't bump into them every day and feel sad for the rest of my life. Thanks for you're advice - will keep u posted on how it goes and let u know

[lordrainyday8888]

I could not bear not speaking with this person back from work - now back to square one - I started chatting with this person - now it's like all over again - the dark cloud has descended once again - I don't know what to do ?????

[Matchy69]

Hi Lordrainyday i can here you that your emotions are spiralling out of control.I sounds like you are very obcessed with this lady.I am sorry what you are going through.Is their anyway of having a break from work and seeing her? Maby telling her how you feel will be an option.If she dosnt have the same feelings how would you feel and how would you cope?Emotions are a real hard thing to control and sometimes you do need to step back and try and work it out.
Take care,
Mark.