Marriage Breakdown

[Aug82]

Hi everyone,

My wife of only 3 years left me about 6 months ago after revealing that she has been unfaithful to me multiple times over our 3 year marriage and 7 year relationship. This was a huge shock to me as i really loved (and probably still love) this person and imagined that i was going to start a family and spend the rest of my life with her. Anyway I was completely devastated and had to go to a physiologist to get myself back on my feet. And to add to everything she basically cleaned out our savings and has left me in a pretty bad financial situation. Unfortunately I also found out through 3rd parties that she had been having an affair with someone that she worked with and had been planning on leaving me for a while.

I am so devastated and betrayed by all this. Its basically all I think about and I feel like such a fool to have been duped like this by someone I loved so much. We live in a relatively small town and I just want to move away from everything and start afresh but my financial situation won't allow me to do it at the moment.

The other thing I worry about is how I can ever trust anyone again, at the moment I feel so bitter and angry and sad about relationships. I really can't see myself getting over this.

[Wednesday]

Hi Aug82,

I am so sorry to read your story, I can see why you are feeling so untrusting and devastated. It sounds like the breakup is quite recent?

Your wife treated you badly. It's okay to grieve for lost dreams, feel betrayed, angry, sad and any other emotion that arrives for you to deal with. One of the emotions that will arrive is acceptance, hang in there. Your ex's bad behaviour is not for you take on. You know what sort of person you are, I bet you have plenty of great qualities that this woman has forfeited, her loss.

Don't be too hard on yourself and give yourself the space and time you need to heal.

It's no wonder that you feel unable to trust at the moment. It's sad that your marriage worked out this way.

This is a safe spot to vent, let us know how you are feeling, no judgement on this site.

I can see why packing up and moving is attractive. But then you may find your self alone in a strange place. Do you have family and/or friends around to talk too and get some support, they will probably be more supportive than you would think. Are you keeping in touch with your psychologist and GP?