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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Oigles76 Absolutely heartbroken
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I just split up with my partner of 3 years suddenly 3 weeks ago, and the pain of losing her isnt going away - I cant sleep or eat properly, and I cant stop thinking of her all the time. What am I do?? I am 40 next month and have an autism s... View more

Hi there, I just split up with my partner of 3 years suddenly 3 weeks ago, and the pain of losing her isnt going away - I cant sleep or eat properly, and I cant stop thinking of her all the time. What am I do?? I am 40 next month and have an autism spectrum disorder, which has profoundly affected my ability to have relationships in the past, my previous longest relationship was six months, I "let myself go" this time and loved this person like i've never loved before, I truly thought this person was "the one", a person who understood me and loved me for who I was, and that I could finally maybe get married to her one day. The break up was really sudden, she said she loved me up until the day before but then she had a meltdown on the night, storming out of my house and calling me half an hour later to say it was over without sitting down and explaining why first. She also has mental health issues stemming from a previous abusive realtionship, on the night she said she had "suicidal fantasies" which really upset and hurt me also. I've tried not to contact her but I facebook messaged one of her friends the other day to see how she was, partly out of heartbreak and partly out of concern as she had mentioned these thoughts on the night we broke up. She found out and emailed me and said that she thinks that the end of the relationship was for the best, and she's going to start dating online again soon, but she still wants to see me as a friend, and that her children are coping better than expected because they know they'll see me again if we stay friends - I felt this was a really confusing message? She also said she wants to meet for a walk some time soon as the kids want to see me, I have come across websites that recommend 30 days of no contact, so I am going to attempt to do that and see how I feel before meeting her - does anyone have any advice?? My heart loves her so much, and wants to meet as friends a couple of times to see if we can reconnect with a sense of fun and then maybe try and rekindle the relationship if we work through our issues, but I guess if I do this I have to be prepared for it not to work and things to go sour - although im going to try and use this 30 no contact period to re wire my feelings away from this almost "unconditional" love . I just felt this person was one of a kind, and the risk is worth it if we could work through the issues and reunite. Any thoughts are appreciated.

ericamaria90 Husband's priorities
  • replies: 1

My husband walked out me 6 months ago, a week before I gave birth to our first child (who was planned). His reasonings were because he said he didn't know how he felt about anything/everything anymore, this included me. He didn't want to talk about i... View more

My husband walked out me 6 months ago, a week before I gave birth to our first child (who was planned). His reasonings were because he said he didn't know how he felt about anything/everything anymore, this included me. He didn't want to talk about it and just said it was over. I have recently discovered that his family is the reason behind our separation. I would never expect my husband to choose between his family and me/his son, but it is heartbreaking to know that he has allowed them to come between us and destroy the family he created with me especially when our family was just about to start. Every time I try to talk to my husband about his priorities and how his immediate family (our son and I) should come first before anyone else on the outside and for us to sit down and talk, he gets defensive. I don't know what to do anymore. For the last 6 months I have been trying to save our marriage and our little family but to my husband we are just easy to dispose of and he couldn't careless. Whenever it comes to him seeing his son, which he has barely seen, he would rather go see his parents than his own son. I don't know what to say to him anymore to try to get him to realise what he has thrown away because he couldn't put his family priorities In order. I am at my wits end

Falling_away_from_me on the edge
  • replies: 2

my anxiety & depression is eating away at my marriage , I'm always negative and my wife feels she gets nothing from me. it doesn't help that i vocally abused her when drunk on fathers day. i just feel everything is coming to a crossroad & i could los... View more

my anxiety & depression is eating away at my marriage , I'm always negative and my wife feels she gets nothing from me. it doesn't help that i vocally abused her when drunk on fathers day. i just feel everything is coming to a crossroad & i could lose everything we have

Molly06 Is it normal to not feel giddy in love with your partner?
  • replies: 6

I've been married for 12 years and my husband keeps telling me that he is still crazy in love with me but knows I am not in love with him. I love him but I don't have that giddy in love feeling anymore. Is this normal? Should I still be getting butte... View more

I've been married for 12 years and my husband keeps telling me that he is still crazy in love with me but knows I am not in love with him. I love him but I don't have that giddy in love feeling anymore. Is this normal? Should I still be getting butterflies when I see him? i do t want this to end but he thinks that maybe it's not what I want anymore and maybe my anxiety is because I'm not happy with him . I am so confused and scared at the moment and I just wanted to see what everyone else thinks. I always thought it would be normal to feel the way I do but maybe I'm wrong ?

Mangof Whirlwind roller coaster how do I get off this ride!
  • replies: 6

It's been a few months since I've been on here, not really sure what to say or think, but this is the only place I can go to things were looking great feeling so much braver,stronger came off meds doc is just waiting for me go back to see him as he s... View more

It's been a few months since I've been on here, not really sure what to say or think, but this is the only place I can go to things were looking great feeling so much braver,stronger came off meds doc is just waiting for me go back to see him as he said I should stay on them ...... Tried to prove everyone wrong but I'm falling fast back feeling worthless and not enough for those I love just been told my sister is terminally sick and may need a transplant how do I be strong for her if I feel so weak panic attacks coming hard and fast trying to smile , if my hubby leaves me it's understandable how much more can he tolerate? Right? So sick of worrying it's exhausting and I end up doing stupid irrational things that just don't make sense when do you ever get your headspace back? Like it used to be I'm living with depression and anxiety but it just feels like I'm the one that's hanging on for dear life it consumes me and leaves me dumb struck and intensely sad any advice would be great

kryssie85 Moving forward, medication and relationships.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I've been seeing a psychologist for a few months and have been taking meds for anxiety and depression for two weeks now. I've been struggling to get over my 8 year relationship with my children's father, which ended about 18 months ago. ... View more

Hi everyone, I've been seeing a psychologist for a few months and have been taking meds for anxiety and depression for two weeks now. I've been struggling to get over my 8 year relationship with my children's father, which ended about 18 months ago. I started getting depressed when our son was about 6 months old due to having to return to work so early and no support from him. We were getting along ok for a little while a few weeks ago and then his moods changed again so its now back to being horrible again. He would often distance himself from me when I was depressed, which made it worse, and now he does even more so, refusing to discuss things about our children and show any emotional availability for them. I was also dating a man for about a year, but I ended it due to his alcohol consumption and he'd forget things we'd talk about or make up things that I honestly never said to him. Last time we spoke, instead of doing my usual teary thing and apologising, something snapped and I had enough. He said something along the lines of "don't give me that girly s***", and I stood up and said "I'm done, and left," He had earlier been saying he was over the relationship because we didn't have sex as often as he wanted. He was also quite arrogant in his attitude toward women which I found offensive. And now with my children's father, I've finally put the foot down in regard to whats in our children's best interests. I've always been too scared to do this. I'm a bit worried though, because I feel before the meds I was a doormat, but I don't want to cause conflict or have fights with people. I have very limited friends and support. I'm also feeling kind of zoned out on the meds. I guess I'm just looking for some advice, or seeing if anyone has had similar experiences? I'm worried that the medication might make everything a lot worse.

Roxi Elderly and feel alone in the world
  • replies: 6

Hi, this is my first post. I am 72 and am experiencing overwhelming loneliness due to death of my husband and disconnection from my two sons plus I live alone. I am active doing voluntary work in the community, have regular coffees with friends, keep... View more

Hi, this is my first post. I am 72 and am experiencing overwhelming loneliness due to death of my husband and disconnection from my two sons plus I live alone. I am active doing voluntary work in the community, have regular coffees with friends, keep busy in the garden and taking part in clubs, and do all the things recommended by Beyond Blue to help. Rejection by my sons and their wives means I don't get to see my grandchildren. Without family I want to end the pain.

Monicamon Relationship making me depressed
  • replies: 2

Hello, ive just come out of a 7 year relationship it was a hard break up… I met someone new who is still in love with his ex and behind my back trying to get his ex back… I confronted him and he said that he stopped talking to her but as it turns out... View more

Hello, ive just come out of a 7 year relationship it was a hard break up… I met someone new who is still in love with his ex and behind my back trying to get his ex back… I confronted him and he said that he stopped talking to her but as it turns out he is still talking to her. I'm devastated… but he just manipulates me into believing that im doing something wrong. It is messing with my mental health… I feel like I'm drowning

Samantha1 Relationship going no where
  • replies: 5

I have been in my current relationship 16 years. My husband got injured at work and has been home a couple of years. We have two children school age. He is very selfish and sits on the couch all day looking at his phone. I find it hard to talk to him... View more

I have been in my current relationship 16 years. My husband got injured at work and has been home a couple of years. We have two children school age. He is very selfish and sits on the couch all day looking at his phone. I find it hard to talk to him as he has not only been lazy for years but has spoken to me for a very long time in an abusive way calling me names speaking about my past in a terrible way and at times threatening yet never apologises just gets up the next day and ignores me. I tell him I am upset that he does not help around the house does not communicate no support and never apologises. He says I need to stop dwelling on insignificant crap and get over it. It's like ground hog day every day

hurtingdaddy will the hurt stop
  • replies: 2

Hi its taking alot for me to write this im not one to open up. The past few years for me have been hell not many nice things have happened. It has affected my relationship to the point where she split up with me 2 years ago but still live together fo... View more

Hi its taking alot for me to write this im not one to open up. The past few years for me have been hell not many nice things have happened. It has affected my relationship to the point where she split up with me 2 years ago but still live together for my childs sake. But the hurt im feeling as things she has done and liedabout i cant forget. I actually have it in my head shes up to no good all the time. She wantsto work thingsout with me but the way i am is unbearable. Im always moody never happy just lay in my bed all day every day smoke more. Plus to add more stress i lost parental responsibility for 2 of my children 3 years ago and only recently after 3 years of no contact at all one of my exs has decided to do mediation. Im nervous and anxious about what it could be. I dont know what to do ive tried meds but give up when i feel nochange after months on them. I dont open up so councilling would be hard. I am just constantly sad depressed and upset. Ive pushed all my friends away and am now pushing my ex away shes told me she doesn't understand depression so cant relate or support me. These feelings are really screwing with my life literally. I cant even sleep properly and when i do im lucky to get 3 hours a night. Any advice or someone to talk to would be great this is a hugething for me to post on here.

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