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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Cherpieus Don't want to go home<object type="cosymantecnisbfw" cotype="cs" id="SILOBFWOBJECTID" style="width: 0px; height: 0px; display: block;"></object>
  • replies: 3

I keep reading it helps to share feelings. Well I've tried this with those that supposedly care about me (ie. my husband) and it's made things much much worse. So I'm trying to share here, not to get advice but just so I know that I have been 'real' ... View more

I keep reading it helps to share feelings. Well I've tried this with those that supposedly care about me (ie. my husband) and it's made things much much worse. So I'm trying to share here, not to get advice but just so I know that I have been 'real' at least to 'someone'. I'm struggling with feelings of wanting to run away. I'm too chicken to suicide as physical pain scares me and I've heard that children are more likely to suicide if a parent has and I don't want that for my teenage kids.I can't be myself at home. The times I've tried my husband gets annoyed with me. He is now hardly speaking to me and has withdrawn from me emotionally and physically. I can't talk to him about my depression at all. He told me I should stop all medication and just be happy with what I have. I know he has now lost all respect for me and I'm fearful he doesn't love me anymore.I'm looking into doing things to avoid being at home so much. I already work full time and have two teenage children which I drive around alot so that takes up quite a bit of time. I'm now looking at doing some night courses, even though when I've tried this in the past it drives me to exhaustion. But I don't know what else to do. The thing is when I do go out a lot my husband gets annoyed with me as he likes me to be home with him, even though he just works in the workshop the whole time.I fantasize about leaving everything and everyone one day - just leave and not be found. The problems with this is I don't have enough money and it's hard to change your identity. In fact after reading about it I don't think it's possible to change your identity without becoming completely homeless.I just want a place where if I'm teary or depressed then I can just be left alone and effect no-one. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Sir_Lurkalot Woman of my Dreams is a Nightmare
  • replies: 4

I don't know where to start or how to begin. There isn't a short way to describe my story and so many topics that all feed into why I'm here and writing this. I've been reading some threads of others and I keep feeling that I shouldn't be here, there... View more

I don't know where to start or how to begin. There isn't a short way to describe my story and so many topics that all feed into why I'm here and writing this. I've been reading some threads of others and I keep feeling that I shouldn't be here, there are so many people with lives worse than mine. What right do I have to be unhappy, what am I so sad about? My girlfriend has escaped a relationship with my help from who I believe to of been a Sociopath or at the very least show many of their attributes. I'd know my GF since she was 14 and we tried to date in highschool so after not seeing her for nearly 20yrs and finding out the girl of my dreams was an abused prisoner I helped her find the strength to leave her partner of nearly 6yrs, 5 of which were spattered with physical and emotional abuse, coercion and forced acts. We began our new lives together slowly. I'd spend weekends with her and occasionally stay for tea during the week. Issues surrounding her behaviour became clearer and clearer to me with time and she is getting better, namely guessing what I'm thinking or about to think and then taking action i.e. Presuming I'm upset or angry with her and becoming defensive when I wasnt upset/angry at all. I've taken to keeping a diary of these sorts of events to try find ways of keeping her calm based on my notes. She still overreacts to things I do or don't do or say the wrong way, tumbling down into yet another argument from her while I try to convince her I'm not angry with her. Everything is always my fault, no matter what. I'm the argumentative one. I break down and cry to manipulate her and embarrass her. I ruin our weekends, our weeknights, dinner with friends. We were supposed to go on a road trip just today for a getaway holiday to relax but last night we had another argument after I got the hiccups and couldnt stop them. She tried to help then thought when I got up to go to the toilet that I left because I was unhappy with her and she felt embarrassed. Later when both in bed and she was telling me off for treating her poorly and I snapped, told her to leave. I started yelling it like a crazed man holding the bedsheets up under my chin. She left and I was too stunned with shock to get up and try to stop her. I love her with every fibre of my being, flaws, habits, warts and all. I'm ashamed, hurt and disgusted with myself I swore I'd never leave her. She's let me back into the house but I think damage is done. I don't know why I said it, she hates me

JoeBlue32 We're not over, but is it?
  • replies: 1

I recently discovered my wife was thinking of leaving me. I found out by stumbling across some of her social media MSGs. I then read further back and found it had been brewing for some time. There were a number of issues why she had come to this conc... View more

I recently discovered my wife was thinking of leaving me. I found out by stumbling across some of her social media MSGs. I then read further back and found it had been brewing for some time. There were a number of issues why she had come to this conclusion and I immediately set upon fixing these issues thinking that would make a difference. I came clean to her about reading her MSGs and things have been turbulent ever since. All the issues she had with me I had counter issues with her. We didn't communicate effectively and I understand that now. I also thought of leaving a couple of years ago but we had two babies and she was heavily depressed so I stayed to do "the right thing". I'm glad I did because things got better for me and I now love her more than ever. Fast forward a couple of years and the situation is reversed. I suggested couples counselling and she agreed initially but later in a very emotional discussion she said she didn't want to and insisted she was not leaving because it would tear apart the kids. She then insisted I wasn't leaving either. She says that she loves me. I am her best friend. This gives me hope but I am also not naive. I know relationships and feelings change and it can get better, but it may not. I love her more than ever and I am struggling with the thought of living with someone I love but who isn't in love with me. Part of me says stay because I have her, not 100% but she's here. I also have two adorable kids who I couldn't ever hurt. The other part says it will hurt short term but give it some time and if her affection doesn't return or progress in the positive get out. I don't know what to do.

SehBear3 How to move on from a break-up after 8years?
  • replies: 6

So this is it. My world turned upside down. After a year of my mum fighting cancer, dog dying, watching my Nan die, I am now trying to deal with feeling so heartbroken and alone. So alone. Moved back home to mum and dads, but they are overseas. Also ... View more

So this is it. My world turned upside down. After a year of my mum fighting cancer, dog dying, watching my Nan die, I am now trying to deal with feeling so heartbroken and alone. So alone. Moved back home to mum and dads, but they are overseas. Also left my 2 beloved cats with my partner. It's day 5. I'm so alone and in pain. Pain like I've never felt before. The sadness is unbearable. Any valuable tips on making new habits and routines as a newly single?

MisterM My estranged sister called me yesterday
  • replies: 3

I didn't know my phone rang as it was on silent so it came up a missed call. I couldn't call her back right away as I was not able to. When I could I sat there thinking do I call back, what do I say. I called back but she didn't answer. I am still so... View more

I didn't know my phone rang as it was on silent so it came up a missed call. I couldn't call her back right away as I was not able to. When I could I sat there thinking do I call back, what do I say. I called back but she didn't answer. I am still so angry at her over many things, I can't seem to let go of my anger. She has hurt me tremendously and contributed to my depression and anxiety. I am anxious about if she calls back and I don't know how to deal with it.

ebbie Love each other, but he needs space.
  • replies: 2

I have been seeing the same guy for four years now. I went away on holiday with my family (without him) and he asked for space. I gave it to him, and then he wanted to see me. Things were getting better but then he had friends over and didn't invite ... View more

I have been seeing the same guy for four years now. I went away on holiday with my family (without him) and he asked for space. I gave it to him, and then he wanted to see me. Things were getting better but then he had friends over and didn't invite me. It really hurt. We argued about this as it was really embarrassing for me (I have to work with the people invited, that's how I found out). This argument turned into the question as to why he needed space, does he want to be with me, and then finally why don't you just break up with me? He insist that he loves me, he kept saying it over and over, but when I asked how can you love me and not want to be around me, he responded with "I don't think you should be near me, I'm scared I will disappoint and hurt you." We have agreed that space is needed, that we wont see or talk to each other for a bit. I followed up with, "does that mean you want to see other people?" He said "No. He only wants to have me." I followed this by asking if he has ever been with anyone else in our relationship, he also said no to that and I do believe him. I have tried talking to him as to why he needs space. Tried to find out exactly why and what is going on... but he has always had trouble with talking. I honestly do not know what to do? I want to be with him, but I feel so alone, I feel like no one wants me. How can someone love you (I know he does), but not want to be near you at this time? I want to stay with him, I really do, but it's hurting so much.

Cheetah Heartbroken and anxious
  • replies: 2

Hi, This is my first post on here, just wanted to reach out as I'm not coping very well with the recent end of a long term relationship. It's been 7 weeks since it ended and I'm finding myself suffering anxiety which has effected my sleep as well. St... View more

Hi, This is my first post on here, just wanted to reach out as I'm not coping very well with the recent end of a long term relationship. It's been 7 weeks since it ended and I'm finding myself suffering anxiety which has effected my sleep as well. Still feeling the pain of the loss and it was done over the phone, as he lives in another country it's likely our paths will ever cross again. He ended it 3 days before I was meant to join him overseas, I had already spent two months there and he bought us a beautiful home to start our life together. I had some things there already which he has promptly returned. Trying to deal with the loss of dreams which included starting a family and trying to get over the feeling of being kicked out of our home. Lonely and anxious. Help.

neroben1991 Infidelity, uncertainty
  • replies: 1

I've been together with my girlfriend for roughly 6-7 years, recently I discovered that she's been seeing someone else since April this year. What startles me is when I confront her (even though I have evidence) still acts if everything is fine, clai... View more

I've been together with my girlfriend for roughly 6-7 years, recently I discovered that she's been seeing someone else since April this year. What startles me is when I confront her (even though I have evidence) still acts if everything is fine, claims she's in the right and claims she's not doing stuff behind my back. I haven't spent time with her in over a year, I miss her and really love her. Everytime we try to spend time together something always comes up on the day we try to, the constant excuses on her end is frustrating and making me lonelier day by day. She has been away for a week and going home tomorrow and I want to confront her about how I feel and get her to tell the truth, fix things and start seeing each other more. But I know she'll continue to deny the infidelity side of things, I wish she would just come clean. She's blocked me on facebook, Steam and the only way her and I talk is either via text or calling each others phones. I've been anxious, stressed and depressed about this for a long time and it's taking a toll on my studies for uni. I feel lonelier everyday, I can no longer sit at home because my mind is constantly thinking about the issue and I no longer enjoy things, except running an event I host once a month. I go for a walk but it only provides temporary relief, I try to catch with friends but majority of the time they're busy and don't want to. I have organised to see a counsellor at my uni in the coming weeks, but I'm able to cope and no longer can deal with this weight on my shoulders.

Metzil81 Marriage over
  • replies: 1

marriage Is over,for financial reasons I stay fir now because we have kids. anyone going through a ended marriage and being separate.

marriage Is over,for financial reasons I stay fir now because we have kids. anyone going through a ended marriage and being separate.

Tiyani How do you get over a relationship with someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder?
  • replies: 3

Just over 2 years ago I met this man who seemed to good to be true, he was charming, romantic and seemed sincere. Our relationship was a rollercoaster ride, he would be amazing then simply stop contacting me for sometimes weeks, then he would return ... View more

Just over 2 years ago I met this man who seemed to good to be true, he was charming, romantic and seemed sincere. Our relationship was a rollercoaster ride, he would be amazing then simply stop contacting me for sometimes weeks, then he would return and be charming again. The whole relationship was affecting me as I never knew where I stood or what it was but I guess I was desperate for the amazing man I met to come back and he did often, but not for long. I never really felt a part of his life, I always thought he had another life of which I was never included. Love is blind and I was it, a couple of times I saw things like text messages from woman, or emails from other women proclaiming love for this man. He always had a great convincing excuse and told me I was being over sensitive. His life was always about him and what was best for him, simple things like he made all the decisions never once asking what I would like, even silly things like what pizza to order or what movie to watch, these decisions were always made by him with no thought to what I may like. Many times over this time I ended the relationship because I felt that it just was to hard, he would always come back proclaiming his undying love for me and stupidly I would take him back. He was always a victim, everyone was jealous of him (according to him) they all wanted his car, his travels his life and due to this jealousy everyone was trying to make is life hard. I never could understand that mentality but at times I felt sorry for him and made all the right noises. This man was totally unable to display any sadness or regret for any of his actions towards me and always made me feel that if I hadn't done such and such then it wouldn't be like this. I read about NPD and thought wow, this is describing my man perfectly. I have since ended the relationship again as I realize its toxic and will never be what I dreamt it would be but I cant help but feel terribly sad and like a complete failure. I was married for 14 years to a man who physically abused me yet I stayed. I'm feeling like I'm flawed, like I'm worthless of someone that will love me for the person I am. How do you get over this feeling? How do you know you are strong enough to stay away from a man that you know in your heart is bad for your wellbeing? How do you get the strength to get up and face the day with a smile on your face and confidence? Right now I have no clue