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Lonely and don't know anyone.

Bendigo1955
Community Member
Hi, not sure how to copy anymore and would like to hear from others who may be in the same boat. Am over 60, live in Bendigo and don't know anyone, am very lonely and want/need to chat with others who are feeling the same way. I know It's very difficult at the moment but what is everyone else doing to keep from feeling down? How does one get to know/meet new people when places are limited/closed? Being alone is generally not an issue for me as I do enjoy my own company, BUT times have changed as I feel very isolated and sad many times a day. I hope to hear from anyone, with suggestion as to how I can break out of this depression or hopefully meet/make some new friends. Thanks for reading.
9 Replies 9

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey Bendigo, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums! We're glad to have you join us here. Please know that you've come to safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We're so sorry to hear how lonely you feel at the moment. We understand how difficult being in isolation can be and the impact it has on our ability to meet and maintain friendships. 

If you feel up to it, we'd recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 
 

Guest909
Community Member

Hi Bendigo

Welcome to the BB forum. You will find a lot of support here.

I don't live in your area, but I have a suggestion that might help you get out and about. I'm guessing that you are retired and have a lot of time on your hands. I had the same problem when I retired, so I have an idea what you are going through.

If that is the case, have you considered doing some volunteer work. Places like Anglicare, Vinnies, the Salvos, and the local hospital are always looking for volunteers like you. In addition there are many community groups looking for people like you to drop in a visit people in your area that are isolated and in need of company. A real win-win if you are mobile.

Here is a link that lists the volunteer jobs in your area. There is a lot to choose from. As a volunteer you can choose how much of your time you are willing to donate.

https://www.volunteer.com.au/volunteering/in-bendigo-vic-3550

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are going. Others on this forum will have ideas that might help you get up and about.

Hi and thanks for your comments. I actually am a volunteer at the hospital and Vinnies but they stopping volunteering back in March due to Corona, am told they will not resume for some time.

Ralphie_Lu
Community Member
Hi Mate. I would say if we were under normal circumstances to maybe join a local sports club that you are interested in and maybe do some volunteer work with them. Before March I volunteered at a golf club near my family's beach house doing bartending work which I found to be very rewarding and I got to know locals in the community as well as chat to the general public. I hope things improve and you have the chance to do more volunteer work when things open back up again.

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

That is so nice that you volunteer for Vinnies!
i had them visit me recently when I was mentally unwell and they were so generous

They also gave me some vouchers and supplies to get back on my feet. Just letting you know from someone who received their support- you change lives! Thank you for the work you do!

i'm lonley too so I don't have an answer. I just wanted to say i'm sorry you feel so lonely and are struggling during this time. You are not alone... I find it helps me to have places I can visit and make small talk, like coffee shops (same one every day) - where I've now became a familiar feature and people come say hi. I don't have a lot of friends either.

It can be hard to find people to connect to, and does take a few goes... i'm wishing you luck finding some nice connections in ur area!!!

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Bendigo, and can we offer you a warm welcome to the forums.

I too, am over 60 and wonder where all the years have gone, where we try and summarise our life in a small capsule but we can't because how we felt 10 years earlier maybe completely different to the current time, much has changed, whether or not we accept it depends on the person and the situation you're in.

The wonderful job you've done at the hospital as well as at Vinnies maybe on hold for a few weeks but will desperately require your help once again when this lockdown eases off, so it's these 6 weeks and possibly any past time that has brought you to the site.

You have done what you wanted, to talk with other people even though it's not one to one by voice, but we still understand and really appreciate contact with you.

Even though normally you're happy being alone does not take away the fact that now you feel alone and for that, we're really sorry.

Can I suggest you talk with your doctor, either by phone or if they are seeing patients, because they may need to prescribe medication to start with, to help change how you are thinking?

I say this just to balance your way of thinking but would love to hear back from you.

Take care.

Geoff.

Hi Geoff, I have seen my doctor and am seeing a counsellor but all she can suggest is to go outside for a walk. I spend all day in bed and cannot seem to get out, if it were as simple as going for a walk, I wouldn't be reaching out for help. In saying that. I understand everyone must be vigilante in isolation and wear masks, but I have been in isolation since February as am very frightened of this virus. Chatting online, phone or video chats is lovely but I need and want face to face contact. I imagine everyone is in a similar boat and it's just not available now. My volunteering won't be continuing for around a year so I'm trying to find something I can do with other people, surely there must be something I can do with someone?!?!? Perhaps you can suggest something!?! I have no recollection of what day it is, as I just sleep nearly all day. Hope you can assist me, as I'm currently not coping well at all. I have my good days but when I have my bad days, they are really bad. Thank you.

Guest_498
Community Member

Hi Bendigo1955,

Yes, times are hard, especially for Victorians. I'm 40 years old and in recent times I have felt lonely too. I've been feeling this way pre-covid. I've reached out to this forum also. Loneliness is a horrible, disgusting feeling, I know. I'm a sufferer of depression and anxiety and at times, I can't get out of bed either. My depression has been long-lasting (really felt its impact the last 4.5 years now). Depression for me doesn't seem to be getting any better. I've lost all my friends and support network through no fault of my own (long story), and have no contact with family either. I understand and I hear you.

Bendigo1955,
Do you live by yourself? I have been and with the covid situation, alongside the alienation from friends & support network, I've opened up my home to a flatemate. He's moving in this evening, however, we've been setting up his room, gardening and pottering around in the house on the weekend, and got to know one another, instead of simply move right in straight away.
Perhaps that's one option for you. Try advertising on Gum Tree or Flatemates.com.au - there's a charge to list on this site. Gumtree is free.