Hi Pink Pigg,
Welcome to the community here on the forum. Sorry to read about your depression and anxiety.
I certainly understand pushing people away when you are hurting. It can be a case of really wanting someone to be there for you but feeling like you need to run away at the same time. Is that sort of how you have felt?
Some people understand depression and others don't. At present with social distancing and rules it is harder still to re-form old connections.
All I can suggest is to try to keep reaching out. People will either connect or not. It is hard to accept the rejection, but think of it is a reflection of them and not you.
I know this forum is not the same as having friendships, but there is a social zone here. You might find some topics you would like to join in with.
Are there things that you enjoy doing? I understand when we are depressed it is hard to continue with activities that help and offer us a sense of enjoyment. Some times we need to do more for ourselves.
I'm in a bit of a rut myself so have been going out walking, gardening, doing crafts and a jigsaw puzzle. It helps to keep the mind active.
I've pushed friends away recently, so will send out some texts and emails and see if people want to keep in touch or not. If not, that is okay. All I can do is try and then look after myself.
Wish I had some answers and solutions for you!
Regards from Dools
