Just found out husband is cheating need help confronting him

[Jjosie78]

I've had suspicions my husband was cheating hes denied it all

We went out fri night i left early with our daughter he stayed out and came home at 1.30am he said he went to a club alone and met work mates. On sat in saw texts confirming he was at another womans house. Hes since deleted the messages I dont know how to confront him on this

I'm heartbroken and dont know where to go from here or how to face this

I shouldn't have been looking at his phone I know this but I just am at my wits end. I'm in a town with no family and no one to turn to

Any advice would be great

[geoff]

Hi Jjosie, there's no much more I can say but if he is denial, then counselling is not going to benefit him, simply because he will keep saying that nothing happened, that's the problem you have to overcome.

You are right 'having a secret relationship isn't on' because it could onto other things, imagine if the boot was on the other foot and how he would react.

If he doesn't want to go to counselling, he's frightened and just be careful because if this other 'friendship' continues, then he has broken his trust.

Geoff.

[Jjosie78]

I dont know what to do I'm going to approach counseling with him and say I need this to happen for us to fix this if its even fixable

My dr called last night and wants to see me today regarding something that's shown up in recent blood tests so now that's on my mind too

I feel so defeated in life right now with no one to talk to I dont want to tell my family and all my friends here are also his friends so I dont know what to do

[Tess2]

Hi Jjosie,

you have found yourself in a very conflicting situation. I can’t advise you what is best for you, but as you have a young daughter together, don’t rush a decision. Go to your dr and get your health concerns sorted and talk to him/her about how you are feeling.

counselling is a good idea even if you go on your own at first. He may join in once he sees how important it is to you.

As you love him try to forgive you have been given good advice by others. Forgiveness does not happen overnight but it can happen

take care. Tess

[jollydolly]

Hi Jjosie,

I've been through something similar when I was far from family and friends, and I know how terrifying and disorienting it is, so I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's a huge shock and very painful. But you're going to be OK...more than that, you're going to be great. You will get through this. I can tell from how proactive and strong you're already being. Seeking help here because you don't want to tell family just yet - what a great idea, and I hope it will help you.

I think it's a great sign that your husband doesn't want to lose his family and has ended the relationship; that desire had better get his bum into counselling as well, because you can't be expected to manage this on your own. But you've already said that, because you're smart and strong.

Best of luck with your doctor visit today - I hope all will be well there, and if there is a health challenge you need to manage, I know you will be able to do that too.

Take care.