just a quick vent

[Guest_01013409]

hi, I'm 14 and I have a girlfriend (we will call her gf as to not expose personal info) but I used to be very depressed since 2020 due to trauma and I picked up bad addictions. and my friend invited me to go and like do one of these things together, and my gf is upset at me because I've been doing it alot over the holidays and they don't want me to and they said they won't be around me at school for tomorrow if I end up doing it. I love her alot and I just want to talk to people to feel a bit better as I have been recovered from depression due to my relationship and medication

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I can see why you are concerned.

Relationships are a balancing act. Although we should hold our GF or BF as a priority we cannot avoid or ignore lifes necessities. You can imagine if adult couples insisted one of them shouldnt go to work, instead stay home with them how many issues that would cause?  So people have to work, not treat days like its all fun and love.

So you might need to reassure your GF when things come up that you cant avoid or are beneficial to you. And she might need to develop some flexibility for your schedules.

So tell her "thankyou for being understanding with my activity, it means a lot to me"... words like that. That will boost her and she will realise she means a lot to you. If she proves not to be flexible then that comes under the area of possessiveness and can ruin a relationship.

You both need to get the balance right and discuss this together alone and not at school.

I hope that helps.

TonyWK