Hey. So I have been in a relationship for 5 years but for some reason tonight I thought I’d try and go to a brothel. Once I got there I stopped myself from doing anything and went straight home. Is this cheating? I feel guilty just for thinking about it. I know I’m my heart I’d never even consider that again.
I would classify this as ‘intent to treat’ as there is only one reason that you would attend the brothel, to cheat, so the motive is clear. But you managed to stop yourself at the last reason so is not the same as full-blown cheating. How your partner would feel about this is debatable. At the very least I imagine they would feel she’ll-shocked that you came so close, it might rock the foundations of your relationship as they saw you one way but may now have to see you in a new light. But I imagine also slightly relieved that you managed to stop yourself. The real question for them I imagine would be the why, what made you go there in the first place. I would hazard a guess that “for some reason” isn’t going to cut it. I would also drill down on that as it no doubt holds the key to your underlying reasons, which are important to understand.
Hello Roger, perhaps you could ask the question to yourself if your partner had gone to a brothel herself, then how would you feel, I know if my wife/partner had gone to one I would be very disappointed and believe she would be cheating.
Well done for not following through with it, but perhaps something needs to be discussed at home or with a couple counsellor.
