In love and confused
Not having experienced a virtual relationship before, I cannot completely assimilate with what you are going through. That said, however, I will endeavour to drawn similarities from that which I have experienced before the Internet existed.
Living in rural Oklahoma, there we not a lot of womenfolk around, so a good friend of mine got it in his mind that he'd get himself one of those mail-order brides. He chose a profile from a magazine and started writing letters back and forth for many weeks. A few months in and they were talking on the telephone and he thought she was definitely the one for him. So he was planning a trip to NYC to meet this lady, but learned that other men were also pen-palling within her; and he was concerned about the perceived competition. What if he wasn't what she wanted. What if the other guys were a better catch. He took the trip, and where he didn't come back with her... he was glad that he made the trip. It allowed him to understand the actual her, over the person he envisaged through letters, photos, and phone calls.
I guess what I am saying, is you have come this far and already spent the $300 on airfare. I suspect its unlikely that you could get a full refund on your air ticket this late, so you might as well go meet the real person. Either you come back with a stronger connection with her, or you come back with a better understanding of who she is. Either way, you will be better off than you are now ... wondering "what if"
Lastly: since she has the predicament of having to choose...
the question is: what are you going to do to help her choose you?
Firstly, I'm not stalking you - but I do notice a theme in your threads. It's a pity there's no real men's groups that I know of in Adelaide because I seriously think they would help. Hey I'd be interested too.
The reason I say this is becasue i think it's extremely important that guys hang with other guys on a regular basis. Not only is this good for the soul but it's, well, manly. It helps us connect, express our feelins/problems and helps to keep us grounded. This can also spill over into our relationships with women to promote more confidence to set the tone and take the lead (in a good way).
The problem is, is that this rarely happens - we lose friendships, people get married and have kids and before you know it we're living separate lives stuck into work, family, kids, or just isolated in general.
I've harped on about this before and please forgive me if I've recommended this but Dr Robert Glover talks about the Nice Guy Syndrome - check it out. I certainly fit that mould and I'm trying to move away from some of those traits (some are...not so "nice").
Back to you situation - there's so many variables. She's probably getting a little nervous about you coming over which is normal. I mean you've never met her so there's bound to be nerves. All this "other guy" stuff is a little silly and high schoolish - treat it as such. You've booked your tickets now. If she doesn't want you to come suddenly then she's obviously not worth the effort. Rise above it and try and have some fun doing something else over there - perhaps you know someone else you could visit instead? Be yourself but don't do anything crazy like profess your love or anything. Don't tell her you're there to make her happy and PLEASE don't think you've done anything wrong to her. You can't control her actions so control your own. If she's not into you that's her problem, not yours. You've got to move away from that and that's the "Nice Guy" talking. She doesn't need you to make her happy and vice versa. Go with an open mind. Be confident. Don't talk about this other guy AT ALL. If she brings it up change the topic. You're the man of the hour not that dude.... let us know how you go and be awesome 🙂