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I've had to cut ties with my depressed ex
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It seems like you are getting some great support from the comunity here so we just wanted to drop in and provide some other services that might be useful for you in this difficult time. We know that looking after someone when they are going through a mental health condition is really difficult and we want to encourage you to look after yourself through all of this. It take a lot of mental energey to care and as they say 'you can't pour from an empty cup'. Please remember to look after yourself.
If you ever want to talk to someone and get some advice you can call us on 1300 22 4636. The team that answer the phones are wonderful at offering suggestions in the moment as well as suggesting where else you can get help.
We also think it could be useful to check out a few of our info sheets which you can find here:
Looking After Yourself
When someone you care about won't seek support
10 ways to be there for someone
We hope there is something helpful fo you there, please feel free to stay connected to this community and give us an update if you feel comfortable.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, you never know who will read this and feel less alone in their own struggles.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
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Hi Taylah96,
I can understand how you feel as well. My ex said the same thing too that, she wouldn't harm herself or do the worst. She explained that she just wants to disappear into a small apartment, and deal with her own issues/activities/things. When we love someone very dearly, we're afraid of losing them, fearing the worst that could happen. I've learned to place my trust on her, and trust that she knows what she's doing. She's currently seeing a therapist to work through her problems (about a few sessions in already), and has her own support network to reach out to (mainly her sisters and her best friend). But if she ever wants to contact/reconnect with me, I'll always be ready to welcome her back with a warm supportive hug.
I feel you're doing both yourself and your partner a big favor by being honest about your boundaries. You've explained to her why you can't be with her for the time being, but will continue to support her if she ever wants to reach out again. She may feel guilty for kicking you out in the first place (since you both have bought a place to stay together), that she felt compelled to ask you to stay and just be friends. But space and time away from each other will help you both tremendously with the healing process. Although a bit unsure, but I feel your partner has her family to support her. She's also taken the initiative to seek professional help. So hopefully that can help lessen your worries on her, and to place trust in her decisions and yourself. It can be very hard for you as this is your first time experiencing something like this, but I can tell you, space and time does wonders. Great work on reaching out to phone counselling as well. Wishing you both the very best!
Jt
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Hi buddy.
I hope you are looking after yourself through this tough time that you are experiencing and can only imagine how painful, hurtful and confused you must feel. I'd like to let you know that you are not alone and can access and array of support and that it's really important for you to focus on your care needs moving forward. Especially in the sense that your partner is having difficulty managing her own care and the relationship.
I also want you to know that it's not the end of your relationship with your partner and you need to understnad that this is not about you, it's about her and that shows in your attempt to reach out for support. You honestly have to appreciate that you are loving, caring, supportive, compassionate and eager to keep her happy, however, you also need to keep yourself happy too.
I don't like to assume things, however, if you peel back her issues, depression is not really a healthy excuse for leaving a partner to focus on themselves because that what you do when you are in love with someone. Healthy relationships are where partners put the other first, they inspire each other to be the best versions they can be, the learn to grow and flourish each others, they love and support each other through the tough times and they make each other their lifetime soul mates.
You can remove yourself from the situation to take this opportunity to improve your own life in areas where needs be, to show her that you are glowing with happiness and that you are independent, she may realise that she needs you more than before but for this to work, she needs to understand that she cannot be treating you as an option while she focus on her own needs.
To recap, take this opportunity to become the best version that you can be as know that you truly are loving and caring person.
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🙂
Exactly. Relationships are equal and balanced.
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