I think I'm slowly losing my girlfriend

[confirmed08]

I'm once again on here writing about my relationship. we recently hit one year together, but on the day she wasn't really that interested in talking (with it being during lockdown we couldn't celebrate it how we would have liked, as many have found I'm sure). ever since then really communication between us has slowed dramatically. we haven't called in weeks with only a few messages back and fourth each day now. I brought it up with her that I've felt as if she's been ignoring me and pushing me away, how I felt I wasn't a part of her life and vice versa. she then told me she felt as if she was falling into a depressive state, she was demotivated with work and that was the reasoning behind the silence. this hurt, after over a year together she felt as if she couldn't tell me what was happening in her life and in her head anymore. since then I've tried to be as patient as possible, offering her as much encouragement as possible, with little to no recognition or response (not that I'm doing it just for the recognition it would just be nice to know she's there and she's taken it in). I'm trying my hardest going thru year 12 in lockdown and trying to make her feel better, but I just can't keep this up when she's constantly pushing me away and lying to me. I figured she just didn't have the energy to talk or socialise with me anymore, which I was fine with. but throughout this week she has caught up with a couple of her friends (adhering to covid restrictions of course) , one of which I was not even aware of being a friend. I don't know long I can keep trying to help her when she doesn't acknowledge me, my life, and continues to push me away. i've not been perfect, but I don't know what i've done wrong. i'm falling apart.

[Sophie_M]

Hi confirmed08,

This sounds really difficult, especially in lockdown. We’re so glad you could share this here. I’m sure some of our lovely community members will be here soon with kind words and understanding to share with you, but we wanted to reach out and make sure you know that there are a few places to call if you want to talk this over.

Kids Helpline are really good to talk to about relationships, and they have some interesting pages on topics like setting boundaries, being there for someone struggling, and coping with a break up. They are on 1800 55 1800, or via webchat here.

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here. It can really help to talk things like this through. Lockdown is incredibly difficult, especially when it’s affecting your school, work and relationships. Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

Feel free to keep sharing, other members will likely be able to relate to what you’re going through.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[HappyHelper88]

Hello confirmed08,
Thankyou for your post, I am so sorry you have been going through this but im glad you shared this. Covid has put alot of strain on many relationships including my own and its a scary feeling to feel like your losing someone, you feel helpless.
It really would hurt that she didnt tell you how she was feeling maybe she assumed you would have known?
You have so much on your plate with year 12 being such a stressful time please remember to look after yourself and practice self care.
It may seem that she is acting different and you have tried your best but the only way to find out whats going on with her is to ask her. Tell her how you are feeling and that you feel she has been distant yet she has time to catch up with other friends and tell her anything else on your mind. By doing this you know your trying everything and she can see how its affecting you.

Please be kind to yourself, this is a stressful time and talking to friends and family about your feelings is helpful also we are always here on the forum

I hope this helps

[confirmed08]

Hey HappyHelper88,

Thanks for the response, it means a lot.

I've been trying to ask almost everyday how she is going, but the majority of the time she never responds or I get a "I'm alright", "I'm ok" which I can't even tell is the truth or not anymore. I'm really hesitant to once again tell her how I've felt she's distant as like I say she seems to be struggling to some capacity, I don't want to put anymore on her plate at the moment even though I desperately want to tell her. I'm really torn on whether to discuss it with her, especially in the past it's been me going to her for help I feel really guilty that I'm putting too much on her, even when she's said in the pas it's fine but now I don't know anymore.

[Petal22]

Hi confitmed08,

Im sorry this is happening between yourself and your girlfriend……. I’m sorry to hear she feels she is falling into a depressive state……. Maybe you could check in with her and ask her if there is anything you can do to help her…… let her know your there and let her know how you feel about her……. and how this is making you feel…….

Here to chat

[confirmed08]

Hey Petal22,

Thank you for the response and the kind words. I'm just very hesitant to throw more on her plate as I have felt incredibly guilty telling her of my struggles in the past, even though she has been great and also reassured me that it's fine. I think she might have just had enough, I might've tried venting too much and she's unhappy with me now. would make sense with her spending no time with me but time with other friends 😕

[Petal22]

That’s ok ……. I understand …maybe you could just send her a nice caring message letting her know you here for her if she needs you…

Sophie has given you some great numbers you could call for support aswell….

We are here for you as a community, please feel free to chat to us anytime..

[confirmed08]

Thanks Petal22 I think I will. Apologies for the earlier reply being a bit heavy.

[Petal22]

That’s ok 😊 no need to apologise all good….. you can speak freely with us ..