I just feel alone

[Jayde_04]

I’ve always been someone who wants a relationship, my friends who never wanted a boyfriend have all got one and I’m the only one single. They all talk about cute things their boyfriends do for them and I just feel so alone. It’s starting to feel like I’m getting needy, I’m now just mindlessly swiping through dating apps hoping that the next one will stick around longer than a day. I just want to feel appreciated and comfortable with someone who loves me but instead I’m just watching my friends relationships from afar feeling so alone 

[sbella02]

Hey there, thanks so much for posting and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling alone. It's a different type of pain seeing and hearing about others with their partners while not having that experience for yourself. 

My best advice as someone who has been in this position many times is to try and enjoy the time that you have with yourself, and use it to work on things that are important to you. Hang out with friends, go out to places that you've always wanted to, pursue hobbies, passions, and projects that you've always wanted to. Get to know yourself and what makes you happiest. Pursue courses about subjects that you'd like to learn more about, grow skills that you'd like to develop.

I'd try your best to transform the feeling of being alone into a good thing. As much as it may sting to see other people happy in relationships, doing things for yourself will help you to build a good foundation for when your opportunity to have a long, healthy, fulfilling relationship arises. You'll know yourself, your boundaries, and your emotional needs more thoroughly, which will allow you to enter a relationship with a solid understanding of the standard of treatment that you expect from somebody else, and the standard of treatment you can provide in return.

In the meantime, there's not necessarily any harm in going out on dates and seeing where things go with good people. So long as it's not enhancing the feeling of loneliness, it can be a good thing getting to know new people. And if it doesn't work out, that's okay - there will be other people who you get along better with who will be more compatible with you. 

I hope this offers you some reassurance. The best way to feel comforted and appreciated is to start by recognising your own talents, skills, abilities, and the qualities that make you unique. The more you appreciate and love yourself and what you have to offer people, the more you'll find that potential romantic interests will take note and start meeting your standards in a way that feels passionate, fulfilling, and committed.

Take care, SB

[InfinityRed]

It can be really tough. I've been alone a long time despite wanting a girlfriend, so I totally get what you're saying.

Are you pursuing real-life avenues to meet people, or just dating apps?

[Croix]

Dear new member~

It is not needy to want a relationship, most people want one too. Seeing your freinds can make you feel more alone however I"m not sure that dating apps by themselves are an answer.

I guess the first thing is how you feel about yourself. You are an affectionate person wiht a lot to offer the right one, however you are also someone that deserves to be treated with consideration, kindness and affection in return.

I would think the harder you try to find someone the less's success you will have. You may meet people in apps but as you say, they re only there for a day -they are not the right types.

I'd suggest patience, lookng at those in your life and seeing who has a kind and thoughtful nature that you are attracted to, then see what happens. Seeing people face to face rather than on an app gives you so much more to go on. I'm not saying it never works, but try to maximize your chances in the real-world ways may be more likely not to have false starts.

May I ask if you work or study, either of which my give you the chanvece of seeing others. If not can you volunteer in an area where there are many peple to meet? Also friends who themselves have relations and other friends too?

you will get there, it can take time but the right one is worth it. It took me years ot find my partner, but we clicked and lived happily and in harmony.

Croix