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i have a possibly fake friend? help?

_bananaboat_335
Community Member

There’s this friend, let’s call them C, who I’ve been close friends with a really long time. I haven’t been in the same school class as them for a while, but we’ve still remained close. This year in our first year of high school we’re in the same class as a new person, let’s call them J, and we’ve became good friends with her as well.

up until a few weeks ago everything was going great in our class. Then We had to move seats and C sat with J on the other side of the table we were sitting at, leaving me by myself. I don’t have a problem with sitting alone, but the seat change is when it started. Basically C and J became even closer friends, leaving me out and usually doing table partner activities alone.at first I was ok with that, but then C and J started being rude and offensive towards me. I wasn’t really surprised with J, but I’d been good friends with C for ages and I’ve never really seen this sucky-up mean person before. When they are both alone with me they are both really nice and normal, but when they are together they are usually leaving me out and being rude and sometimes bitching about me like I’m not there.

I don’t know what to do about this, usually I just start ignoring them becasue i know they want a reaction from me, and I’m also afraid I’ll lash out, but that doesn’t really do me any good. I’m worried that confronting them will start something bad in our friend group, but I’m sick of being treated badly and I don’t have any other friend groups to go to. Someone help please???

2 Replies 2

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello, and thanks for posting your comment.

I'm so sorry to see that this has happened to you, but I would be talking to C by herself but in the way, you would normally talk to each other.

An alternative is to go up to them and say that you do not appreciate how they are treating you and explain to them exactly what they are doing and how it is making you feel.

You can speak to Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 who talk to people up to the age of 25 years old

Please let us know how you feel.

Geoff.

paddyanne
Community Member
Hi -bananaboat. Sounds as though this J person could be the new kid in school, which in itself is hard. Maybe C is trying to help J fit in. You seem to be concerned that C is getting too 'chummy' with J for no apparent reason. Have a chat with J alone and gauge whether she is as bad as you suspect. She may be nervous and scared about being in a new school and C may have been approached to help her fit in. Are you positive they're being as rude as you suspect. Maybe you're being standoffish and this is the problem. Try extending the 'olive' branch to J and let her know you want to be friends too. We all need friends and when someone is being ostracized it can cause unnecessary problems. I wouldn't approach C as this doesn't really involve her, it involves your insecurity about their friendship.