I hate myself and my life.

[Syringe]

Ever since I was a kid I never had supportive parents. I would get screamed and shouted at left to my right. I agree I was hard to manage and I still am stubborn, but why would I open up easily when I have these people. A lot of my friends say 'oh but they're you're parents'. If your in my situation you would know better then let them off the hook. I'm trying to stay on top of school ,friends ,image and them. I get criticized for EVERYTHING I do. I developed a ED when I was 10 because I thought eating was the problem, I suffered from severe Anxiety, it would constantly take over my life. Then theres school. Life at home was so bad school was the only time I could get away. I wouldn't take it seriously and just have my fun, since I would have the mindset 'I can do whatever since I'm not home'. I started vaping, and self harming since then. I don't vape anymore and I'm a few days clean on self harm. At one point, all my friends turned out to be fake, I'm at a new school, My family problems, I'm failing school. I attempted so many times, but couldn't bring myself to do it. My mind was so fked up. Everday I would think 'when,what,where would be the best place to.. attempt. I'm better still struggling yet doing better. Best thing I had throughout this hell was my Best Friend. 

[Picture]

Sorry to hear everything you have been through. That sounds so hard and so much for a young person to deal with. I am glad you have your best friend.

You may wish to consider speaking to a school counsellor or Kids Helpline or Lifeline. While things feel hard now, they won’t always be this way. Things will improve over time but it would be good to get support to help you in the journey. You can go on and have a meaningful life. While things may seem overwhelming right now, they won’t always be this way. Thinking of you

[Mudcakes]

I feel you. I often got the same comments about my abusive father and no one understood. I’m really glad your bestfriend is there for you. 

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there,

A warm welcome to the forums! Thank you so much for being brave enough to open up on here. I am so sorry to hear about the difficult time you’re experiencing.

You sound like you feel alone in what you’re going through. But I promise you, you are not alone. I’m sure you will get a lot of perspectives here on the forums. It can be so infuriating when your parents don’t support or validate your feelings and it can be so lonely. You should  be able to open up to people you trust and who have your back. I’m glad to hear you have a best friend by your side. 

I’m proud of you for being a few days clean! That is a huge achievement and I hope you’re also proud of yourself. You are stronger than you believe and you can get through this. You definitely need the right support system though. I would recommend chatting to a counsellor online at KidsHelpline. Here’s the link: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling I think it will be a good start to get some things off your chest and find some useful strategies to cope. If you feel comfortable, you could also talk to your school psychologist too. I’m sure you will be able to get to the bottom of your eating disorder and anxiety, especially if that is something you’re still going through with someone who provides a safe space.

I’m glad to hear you are doing a bit better. Here is a link to some useful strategies to manage self-harm if you feel like doing it again: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/topics/self-harm#short-term-help-for-self-harm Hope this helps. Please don’t hurt yourself. You matter. I know this feels heavy right now, but this is temporary. You can get through this. Sending love to you ❤️