I don't know where to start
Background: I am a single mother of 10 years that moved away from everyone and everything she knows due to violent threats from my ex husband. I stayed single for 7 years before even considering I was ready to enter a new relationship. I have a background of anxiety and a family history of mental illness including anxiety, depression, bipolar...
THEN: I found the man of my dreams, it took me so long to let him in, I explained previous relationship and the way that I react to relationship breakdown and how hard relationships are to me due to anxiety and the fear of 'everything not being okay'. He insisted he could handle anything and has helped me through some emotional times with work and family to which ive never got along with. for 2 years I've depended on him to pick me up when I'm down hes been there until 2 weeks ago. things took a turn for the worst, my constant worrying and need for reassurance has been plaguing him for some months now, with his telling me hes getting tired of it and hes exhausted, ive worn him down.
Now: Hes left, I'm spending numerous hours thinking of ways to repair the relationship to which he says he still loves me but doesn't know what to do. I don't have any friends or family where I am to go to for support and my child misses him dearly aswell. I spend hours agonising over whether I should just call to try and make things better and when I do hes unhappy ive contacted him but still satys he loves me but doesn't know what to do. Its emotional draining for me and in sheer moments of frustration ive broken it off with him completely only to go back on my word and seek his reassurance that he wants to make thing work and he say he doesn't know if they can, to which I ask do you want them to and he says yes but I don't know how.
He has told me he wants me to be the happy girl that didn't need him when we met but I actually need him more than ever right now, the lonliess could just about eat me up, then I ring again then he gets mad cause I haven't given him any space.
I don't know where to start or what to do
Hi unlucky, welcome
A catch 22. A partner wanting space is not a good sign. Also, people, their mental health and other changes happen over time. You cant help it if that occurs. I mean, if you had a serious injury physically would he say "I want you to do what you used to do like hiking and running".
I think it comes down to lack of devotion. By drifting away imo the only way you'll sirvive emotionally is to distract your mind. Get it busy.
Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue
Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue
Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue