I don't know what to do

[Mia37]

My husband from oversea came to live with me. My family don't want me to be with him so initially when he came over we live in a different state. I was unhappy because of my family pressure and I didnt like the state where we were living.

I felt loney without my family and not many friends. I use to fight with him a lot. I didnt felt like I wanted to be with him there at times. So I moved back to live with my family, I didnt think about how I would lose him.

He gave me a chance to be back with him recently. But I may have to move away from my family and hometown again. I like where I am living right now but I also want him. He said he don't think he can move to my hometown. I don't know what to do. I feel so unhappy I can't have him and my family same time.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Mia,

I hope it’s okay if I extend a gentle welcome to you to the forums 🙂

What a difficult position you are in to feel so torn between wanting to be close to your friends and family, but also wanting to be with your husband. I would think you must be feeling so stressed and pulled in multiple directions...

I feel it’s tricky because being with your husband means feeling isolated and lonely from family . But being close to your family stains your relationship with your husband...I really feel for you...

I wonder if there’s a middle ground. A compromise of sorts e.g. you and your husband move to the same state as your family and friends, but not in the same suburb/area as them (it would be easier for you to see family and friends while your husband gets to maintain some physical distance from them). Sorry, I’m not sure if that would work but I thought that I would gently suggest it anyway....

There’s no pressure, but if you feel writing here is soothing or helpful, please write as often as you like. You’re most welcome here. I feel there are many caring people here who would want to listen and support you as best we can.

Kind and warm thoughts,

Pepper