I don't know? Anymore...

[Corey1995]

I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't know what to think what to say what to do. I'm so torn up inside that I feel isolated. My name is Corey and I'm 27 years old I have a beautiful wife 25 and a gorgeous daughter 2. My wedding is coming up this Monday on the 31st it should be the happiest day of my life but fate had decided to send my mother to ruin it she has never accepted my love for my wife she has lied and emotional minuplated myself and my side of the family against me. She has called me a liar in my own home and growing up she claims everything she does for me is for me but it's seems it's always about her my entire life has been about pleasing her and yesterday we had a fight because she blow up at my wife and I defended my wife I will admit I told her to get out of my house with nasty words in there but I have been push to such a limit I can't take it anymore. I feel miserable and lonely my wife says she said by my side but I don't what she truely feels I don't know what much else to say I'm not really a talker I don't handle feelings like this well. I don't why I'm even posting this here I guess you can say I'm at my last resort. I'm desperate for help someone who can understand me but my mother has turned Freund's and family against me and sacred that I won't be heard or understood. Does this make me horrible. Am I the problem. I don't know anymore I don't know how to feel how to think I feel every choice I make is wrong. I just want help before it's to late. I'm so sorry if this isn't what the forum is for I don't normal seek help or advice. I just don't know where to go or what to do. 

[white knight]

Hi Corey

Well, guess what? I have had my mother ruin my first wedding in 1985. Also she attempted to ruin my 2nd wedding in 2011. I was forced to get a restraining order against her in 2011 or I would have had another disaster. Yes, she is all for her and I couldn't work out why she did this as I've been a good son to her, done all the right things like paint out her house, help her all I could, then a friend suggested I google - queen witch hermit waif

https://triumphtreehouse.wordpress.com/2011/06/28/waif-hermit-queen-witch-%E2%80%93-the-borderline-t... 

I am not suggesting your mum has this but her behaviour might point to it. After all, why would a mum ruin a wedding? When I thought about my first wedding I remembered her bad behaviour 2 to 8 days before the day, it was like she was stamping her feet

In my case days before my second wedding after the judge gave me a court order I began to relax and enjoyed the day, the wedding was great. I have decided to not see my mother since and she is 90yo now. 

The worst thing you can do is blame yourself, it isnt your fault. Even if you made error she, as your mum, should wait till a few weeks after your wedding to address any issues she has. 

Your duty now is to make sure your wedding is successful as can be for your fiancé's sake also. If that means those friends and family members are barred from attending so be it. You only want those that love you there. It is your day!!!

As for expelling her from your home - good, it's your home, your rules, it is acceptable. If you didnt then next time she'll act worse. Please dont feel guilty

https://theestablishment.co/witch-queen-mom-fairy-tale-lessons-for-surviving-borderline-parents-8695...

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/mother-in-law-trying-to-ruin-my-w...

TonyWK

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Corey,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums…

No you’re not a horrible person at all…you defended and protected your beautiful wife..the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with….I think you are a brave and beautiful person….

Its your wedding day on the 31st…the day you commit your love and care to someone who you hold and treasure deep in your heart and soul…A day, that’s all about you, your beautiful wife and gorgeous little daughter..

I wanted to call in and wish you the best day ever for your Wedding Day….and hope that you have a wonderful day and life together…

Tony has given you some great insight to what he also went through….I agree with Tony…you only want the ones that you both..to be a part of your special day…

My kindest thoughts Corey, with my care..

Grandy..

[ecomama]

Dearest Corey, this is EXACTLY what the forums are for! 
A very warm welcome to this safe space where you will be HEARD. 

It's okay for you to be feeling all these feelings! 

It's a scary time being at odds with your mother (who I think is a selfish, manipulative piece of work who could opt for SUPPORTING you at this special time and I could go on!). 

Please reach out and call the BB Helpline. You can do this anonymously! 
A warm and caring Counsellor will listen and offer some very helpful suggestions for you. 
You WILL feel better after your call. 
And you can call again, and again. 

It's what we are ALL here for. 
YOU. 

Bringing your focus back to your beautiful bride to be AND your gorgeous little girl. 
You may need time out with a hot drink watching the waves at the beach or just meditating on the wonderful day ahead AND your beautiful lives together and what ALL of this looks like. 

Heed not to the threats. 
You don't have to justify anything to anyone. 
Boundaries UP. 

Self-care time. 

Have a beautiful day on Monday, I'll Pray for good weather!! 

Love EMxxxx

[geoff]

Hello Corey, you are going to spend the rest of your life with your wife and your daughter, your mum is a weak link causing too much trouble and needs to be forbidden to attend the wedding and your future life.

Why she is doing this, is her decision, but it's not right and suggest to have a couple of people who can stop her from upsetting your day.

Geoff.

Life Member.