Hurting dad

[Jack170]

Hi, completely new to this but here it goes. Guess my storey have been heard before so nothing special here.

Our divorce was now 8 years ago. The current state of affairs are that I live in Queensland and my ex in Melbourne. Today is my daughter's 14th birthday and she is worlds away. Today marks a year since I spoke to my daughter last.

She is currently not talking to me. I do not completely know why and are not able to find out the truth. We last spoke on her birthday last year and after that she stopped answering my calls and no response to any txt. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months as everything steamrolled. I asked my ex as to the reason and her response were "I don't know and it is not my responsibility to upkeep your communication". I pleaded with her to no avail. During this time, as it was over the years since divorce, my ex would only talk to me asking for additional money several times a month. And while I then help where I could with these requests, I did begged for her to talk to my daughter and get behind this sudden change. I would always just get the same response as before that it is not her responsibility. Then in March my exe again asked for money outside the child support. This time I could not take this abuse anymore and said no for the first time in years. The next day I received a message form my eldest daughter, mid 20's, that my young one aged 13 at that point sent the eldest a message saying that she should ask me to help my ex. Now this shocked me to the core and made me send her the money she asked for. The next part is what put me in the spot I and in today.

I sent my ex a message saying "I deposited the money you asked for but I am hurt that you had **** beg for money. You should be the mother and a better role model than that". I had no reply on this and left this alone.

Couple weeks after this I receive notice that I need to appear in the Melbourne courts for a DVI. I contact the police officer on this case who told me this is to protect my ex from verbal abuse. Now the only this I said was calling her a bad role model. I inform the courts that there will be no contest and to make final orders for me to not contact my ex. More steps there. My shock was when final orders came that my daughter's name was now added to the no contact order. Courts told me to go see a lawyer who said I had no chance to get this over turned.

I never even had an argument with my daughter so that makes it hurt more

[geoff]

Hello Jack, a very sad situation this is, but maybe your ex is only filling your daughter with rumours that are far from the truth and the more you argue with her only makes the situation worse, I'm sorry on your part.

You may not have done anything wrong but it's twisted into making your daughter not contact you in return, it's a catch-22 position you're in, but you are only entitled to give the expected money per month, and giving your ex any extra money will not make your communication between yourself and your daughter any better and she may not even know why your ex needs the money.

This extra money was given to her, then she takes out a DVI, that's a reason why you should stop giving your ex more than is due.

Your daughter may well and truly wake up in the future and realise that her mother has been taking advantage of you.

It is a terrible situation when contact is being blocked.

My best.

Geoff.