How to help my d through things and to get started in life ?

Guest_1584 · ‎15-01-2023

Hi bb.

My d is 21 and has had what l'd say is fairly mild bp , just going on what l've learned of others over the yrs. But the depression , mainly caused through the terrible runs and heartbreak she's had has been just terrible. And every time she's picked herself up again mths later, something else happens.lt only started coming out a yr or so after leaving school , before that she'd always been a very intelligent and grounded person.

But so much has happened since and Covid came a long as well. Terrible and heartbreaking runs with friends and boys and courses closing through Covid, jobs lined up instead closing and on and on.

She's also wanted move out for a long time too but then there's been rental shortages and crazy rents when there was something. She finally found something about an hr away moved over and finding her feet, so beautiful to see. She only wanted to get started there and think about courses, direction and stuff and just find her feet.

Then the young guy she was sharing had some problems and she's had to move out and back home.

After everything else she's been through,she finally gets a start and was bouncing back but now this.

She feels lost and hopeless again and it's also really hurt her yet again too he just turned and asked her to move.

Poor thing and after everything else. Her confidence and spirits is totally shot again and she hates having to be home again but just doesn't know what to do. Can't get ahead financially enough either and on and on and Mh is slipping again.

On the housing front we've said yaknow, everyone bounces to and from home to start and courses or jobs don't turn out to be what you hoped and stuff,boys, the whole lot. Try not to take it to heart you'll find a new situation and get started again. But after everything she's been through now this, l just dk how to help and we're very worried about her. MH clinic has been useless.

Also wondering , are there any numbers or helpline suitable for a 21yr where she could just call and talk or get counsel .

Her so called MH team have been useless. They don't even ask anything or talk says the only thing they say is you got a job yet , l just mean wt ???

And that's been the same with the both offices she's been involved with.

rx

smallwolf · ‎15-01-2023

hey there randomx.

Really hard it sounds like... 21 and try go live your life. I have a son and daughter on either side of that age, and they both live at home - financially it does not make sense from them to move out. How has this been impacting you also (emotionally)? Sounds like you care very much for her. I won't go into the details regarding my children, but it is hard these days. ;(

I wonder if your daughter has tried "Kids helpline"? There is information on their web site etc that might be useful also.

Guest_1584 · ‎15-01-2023

Hi there sw and thanks for the thoughts.

Ahh , yeah , been very hard seeing everything she's been through and trying to help or be there.

She's welcome to stay at home long as she wants and things are so expensive for them now, she's got two places and towns to chose from her mums or mine butttt, she's just been dying to move to somewhere and start her life awhile now and fair enough. We keep reminding her it takes time she's only 21 Rome wasn't built in a day- and anything else we can think of.

l'm not sure tbh but we've suggested different places said she hasn't had much luck or at other times just hasn't wanted to call them. We expected her mh clinic to guide her and help, be there , counsel, but my God.

Guest_1584 · ‎06-02-2023

l find it amazing that in a MH place like this l ask for suggestions in helping a bp1 young person, our daughter , and it gets no replies bp parents or bp experienced people.Yet just about any other thread on no matter how minor compared , gets flooded.

The mind boggles .

rx

Sophie_M · ‎07-02-2023

Hi randomx,

We can hear you and your family are going through a hard time right now and we are glad to see you are using the forums for support. We would like to remind you of the forum guidelines, guidelines to ensure the forums are a safe and supportive place for all users.
Most posts get answered by the community within 24 hours, but sometimes they slip the net. Please try not to take this personally, the forums can be a very busy space. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The amount of replies received will always vary from day to day. Our community also operates on the principle of 'give support to receive support' - you are more likely to receive replies if you get involved with the community, respond and talk to members on existing discussions, in addition to starting a discussion of your own.

If you would like more information on the guidelines you can find so here: https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/custom/page/page-id/forums-guidelines

We hope that makes it a bit more clearer as to why you may not have heard a response and remember you can always contact us through our support service, on 1800 512 348 or via online chat.
Kind Regards,

Sophie M

Guest_1584 · ‎07-02-2023

Hi Sophie

Tbh , l've given plenty of support around here and for a few yrs now , well as much as in anywhere l come across that l might be able to anyway when l've had the time. And l have been thanked many times.

And yeah l know how threads work and time and stuff but it's also very obvious early in to with most threads and to whether people will bother or not as was the case with this one too. 3wks now, only one and although grateful of course , unfortunately nothing from parents experienced in dealing with bp , which is mind boggling tbh.

But anyway , l'll find what we need elsewhere , thx all the same.

rx

smallwolf · ‎08-02-2023

hey rx,

I get the frustration you mentioned.

I was talking to someone today about a totally different things and the person I was speaking to ventured into the realm to BP as his wife as it - she is on medication so that the ups and downs are not quite so. I hope that makes sense. Now, I do have a little understanding but that is mainly from reading myself and felt that whatever I had to say might not be authentic (at least that is how I feel).

Can I ask if your daughter has been diagnosed as BP?

From my side, I would suggest self-care and educating yourself are the first things. It can be emotionally draining for you. Purely from a depression angle, to suggest or encourage healthy habits is easier said than done.

I know I am not a parent that you are looking for, but if you want to have a chat about anything ...