Hi kinda stuck

[Aawwk]

I don’t want to break community rules but I fee trapt in a situation and don’t know what to do , I am divorced with children me and there mum get on , anyway whilst overseas a mistake happened and now I’m expecting a baby in another country , she wants me to move there etc but I can’t I don’t want to leave my kids and I doubt there mom would let me take them anyway and I’m set up here with work etc , but I can’t bring myself knowing I’m not going to be part of the baby’s life , it’s killing me

[SammyB]

Hi Aawwk,

Welcome to the forums. I’m sorry that you feel so trapped, I can’t imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling. If you don’t mind me asking, what has the discussion been so far? You say she wants you to move there but you clearly have work and obligations towards your children to weigh out. Is there any room to compromise (i.e. making arrangements to visit/live aboard a couple months out of the year)? It’s a lot to think about so feel free to discuss further here.

Sammy

[Juliet_84]

Hi Aawwk,

We’re all human and these things happen. I don’t want that to sound as though I’m minimizing things, it just sounds as though you are being unnecessarily hard on yourself. I understand that she wants you to pack up and move but you have a life here with children and that may not work with someone you have barely met, and then you’d be halfway across the globe with no support. What country is she in if you don’t mind my asking (just want to get an idea of how far)? I think that you need to explain your situation to her and how this can work if she chooses to proceed with the pregnancy. I don’t think you should encourage her to have an abortion or anything, I just think that she deserves to know what you can realistically provide and what this will look like before so that she can make plans. An alternative might be for her to move here? I know that’s also a big deal but it may put some of the pressure off just you, as it is currently.