hes gone for good

[cole845]

i posted a thread a few weeks ago detailing my situation. so yesterday was court day for the avo,he didnt contest it, only not wanting the children on it i felt i had to agree.the judge granted it and added the children also. i could feel him staring at me all day and it made me feel nervous. he didnt seem himself, was very flighty and somewhat proud at the same time. he isnt allowed to contact me, only in writing, email, text and only regarding the kids. its been 5 weeks since he moved out and  3 since he texted me it was over. he has been so horrible since that day. the worst part is all i want to do is call him,see him, hold him, i miss him so much and cant stop crying. he has hurt me so much in the last 14 years, and i cant understand why the hell i feel like this. i dont feel like i am the victim, he is. his whole family has disowned me and are supporting what he has done. i cant even pack up and go away either, i cant sell the house without his signature. i feel trapped. i have started the process for mediation, which im told could drag out for months and he dosnt have to agree to go. which means regular court and very expensive fees.

[Neil_1]

Dear Cole

Thank you for providing this update of your situation.

I've read through this and you've got grief overload happening - and there's nothing wrong with that.  It's an emotion that we all go through;  but Cole, he ISN'T the victim here.  Well, you aren't either.  What I'm trying to say here is - the situation came to a head as it should have and just desserts were served.

You've got two beautiful children that are yours to bring up into this world, to nurture and care for and love and support.  And the three of you will be there for each other.

May I ask, obviously the children, especially the older one must have opinions on all this.  Are they ok with the recent decision?

What I would like you to do is to go and read right through your first thread that you provided here.  I went and read this one first and then thought, "hmmmm, maybe ...";   but then I went and read your first thread and then I knew this decision and this process is the right one.

This post is written perhaps with the freshness of the recent decision and everything seemingly a bit overwhelming for you at the present time.

But Cole, please work through this - one day at a time, I'm sorry I can't recall your own family for support - I do hope you've got them close by.

One thing you've definitely got is the Beyond Blue community here - backing you 100% and we'll be here to give advice if we can, but no matter what, we're supporting you all the way.

Kind regards

Neil