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HELP stuck between a rock and a bad place

Beautifulsoul75
Community Member

Hi everyone

im new to this site, but hoping I can get some sound guidance and support

im with a man you who is right now suffering severely with anxiety and depression... he is on medication and just had his dosage increased which has caused him to feel worse (part of the side effects).

my problem is I’m the only one he has told how he’s feeling.... and now he has pushed me away and said he needs a week or so to sort himself out ...

his family have no idea what’s going on .... to be honest I’m really scared for him. When He gets this down he sticks his head in the sand and just disappears and talks to no one ... I need to know should I be telling his family what’s going on so they can try and help or not break his trust and say nothing and let him come to me when he feels better .. I’ve been i tears all day over this ... and it’s worse as I can’t see him

any advice would be greatly appreciated 😢😢😢

4 Replies 4

bindi-QLD
Community Member

Hi Beautifulsoul75,

I'm really sorry you are going through this alone, it must be so hard to care so much, and feel pushed away. Hopefully he means what he said, that he just needs a week to adjust to his meds and the side effects. Its likely he just wants to protect you, but I know it still feels so bad to feel shut out and alone 😞

If it were me, I would not tell his family or break his trust. The kind of support he needs is psychological, and its unlikely family can help. Another thing to consider, is his family background may somehow be responsible for his depression. If they are connected is some way, then you going to them with personal information about your partner may be a very serious betrayal, that will cause a lot of harm to your relationship.

I really feel for you being pushed away, perhaps the best thing to do right now is to find some good company or distract yourself with things you want to get done? Is it possible for you to ask your partner for some minimal contact each day, so you don't have to feel so distressed?

Hey bindi

rhamks for the response ... I have asked that we make contact everyday so that he can update me as to what he’s doing and how he’s feeling, it depending on how down he’s feeling depends on if he does actually respond like he promised he would .... I feel like sometimes he says he will do it but has no real intention of doing so, he just puts his head in the sand and disappears, leaving me wondering if he’s ok..

it is very hard as he says that he feels like he is letting me down and. I matter how much I tell him he isn’t , he says it feels very real in his world no matter what I say...

im really scared if I say nothing he will disappear for good as he will feel so embarrassed by how he’s been feeling and his behaviour that he feels h can’t contact me again...I wish he would just let me help instead of trying to do this by himself it saddens me so. But I have to respect his wishes

😢😢😢

Hi Beautifulsoul75,

I'm sorry that he agreed to stay in contact, but he hasn't been able to do it reliably. So hard for you Hon! Does he see a therapists or psychiatrist for his medication?

I hope he will adjust to his meds soon, I've known it to take a while for some people.

He does see a therapist but not enough

he has just told me to leave him alone for a while and that although he shouldn’t he feels pressure from me... but he knows I’m genuinely wanting to help but needs some space

im completely heartbroken that I’ve made him feel this way .. and probably pushed him away .... permanently

i don’t even know what to do except sit and cry and feel like a complete monster

😢😢😢😢😢