Heart break

[Dibbles_23]

My partner just broke the heart breaking news that they want to break up .
They are struggling with their own mental health which isn’t easy and I told them to concentrate on themselves , even though I am absolutely crushed . They say they are still in love with me but can no longer see a future with me .

i am really struggling to wrap my head around letting go of a relationship that was seemingly perfect until mental health became an issue.

can anyone out there help me ? I really don’t know how to deal with the tug of war going through my brain and heart and how to decide to walk away for good or wait and see if this works out once they are feeling “better “.

TIA

[Sophie_M]

Hi Dibbles 23,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, you also never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experiences. 

We are sorry to hear that your relationship has come to an end and that it is making you feel this way. We know that changes in out personal life can have a profound impact on how we feel and our sense of self. It sounds like it has been an especially difficult time right now.  Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also think it would be worthwhile to have a look around the forums and see if there are any other conversations that you feel resonate with you. 

Thank you again for being brave and for sharing here today. Please feel free to check back in and update the community on how you are going if you feel comfortable doing so. 

[Zahra_N]

Hi Dibbles 23,

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story here. I am sorry to hear you are in this hard situation.

You understand and care for your partner and it hurts you that they want to end the relationship due to their mental health issues.

Heartbreak is a process and I suggest you try doing things you love to cope with it. Maybe try hanging out with friends and give yourself some time to come to heal.

It will get better with time eventually.

Please get back to us if you require any more help.

Take care,

Zahra

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I join with Sophie and Zahra welcoming you here under sad circumstances.

This period of grief that has commenced will continue for some time. During this period try to allow for your pain to flow a couple of times a day and in between try to get distracted and very by, in the best way during this pandemic. As Zahra kind suggested- hanging out with friends, even crosswords or jigsaws.

Eventually you will find a path and move on or fix the problem with your partner.

This forum is open 24/7/365 so if you feel like putting words down go for it.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/the-best-praise-you'll-ever-get

TonyWK

[jaz28]

Hi Dibbles,

I am so sorry! Heartbreaks hurt so bad. My current boyfriend actually ended things with me due to his mental health too - we are now back together but we had a week-long break up which resulted in him realising I help him more than hinder him, and that I was a massive support to him. I am not saying that you should get back together, but the bottom line to what I am saying is - they must feel so bad that they do not want to drag you down with them. I know it hurts, as all you want to do is help them.

But you must give them the space they are craving. It is sad that it had to end this way, but I am sure you only want them to be happy - and maybe they need to be by themself for a while to get there.

Chin up, and distract yourself. Cry and grieve as much as you need. But when you're feeling okay again - see your friends, go to work, and do the things that you love or the things you could not do with them.

Time truly is the greatest healer. It will get better.

Keep your head up,

Jaz.